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Home > Stories > Read Story
ASSault and BUTTery
Posted:02/25/2007
Views: 8,483
Grade: B
Comments 12
It was one of those days where it was totally apparent that you were in for an unusual day. The governor had declared a state of emergency because there were over 3 feet of snow on the ground. I was interning as my last step before securing my degree and just totally ecstatic that school would be closed for two weeks.
Now, me being a true college student, I could never pass up a chance to party, so my roommates and I put our heads together and came up with a brilliant idea. We would through a Snow Party. Little did I know, this party would take a turn for the worse.
At first, things were great, lots of people, lots of drinks, lots of good food and plenty of drinks.
It was about 3 o'clock in the morning and the party had been going on for hours. This is where the aforementioned turn takes place.
First mishap. . . I meet this girl I'll call Meg and let's just say she was a little more than friendly. Well, I soon realize her intentions and snatch her into my room, forgetting to lock the door. As soon as her shirt is off and I am licking on her tits, a party guest comes bursting into the room. She freaks out, puts on her shirt and rejoins the party. After several feeble attempts to coax her back into my room, I resign myself and rejoin the party too. I'm pissed and down another shot of bacardi to try and maintain my cool.
Next mishap . . . I was totally wasted and apparently I was mooning random people at the party. Well, many people laughed it off and kept partying except one. He was apparently dead set on revenge. I passed out across the couch for about 2 minutes (I'm really not sure, I was totally wasted, but this is my best estimate).
Well, this guy sees me passed out and I hear him yelling obscenities at me although I am too blitzed to pay attention. Next, I feel something cold against my face and everything slowly registers. When everything has fully registered in about 30 seconds, I realize Holy S*** this guy has his bare ass against my face. To make matters much worse, people at the party are laughing hysterically. Everyone except me that is.
I immediately jump up with incredible hulk strength (although I am still wasted) and knock this guy as hard as I could across the face. He is stunned and staggers as if he was going to hit the floor.
In my drunken rage, I then kick this guy in his stomach two times as hard as I can before several party goers grab me imploring me to calm down. Meanwhile, this guy squirms on the floor in pain.
"Dude, he was just playing around," yells one of his friends trying to get me to calm down.
R "Playing!" I practically yell loud enough to wake the dead. "Do I look like I participate in any 'play' involving another dude's butt against my face?" I continue.
In my rage, I manage to get away from the two people who are holding me back and get one more swing at the guy. This one would prove the most detrimental because I knocked him in his face this time and he spit blood out of his mouth (I had knocked out 3 teeth).
Now, five people grab me and several people rush him out of the house. I am now so angry that I am in tears and fighting in vain to get these people to let go of me because I am determined that I am going to knock this fool senseless.
His only saving grace is that the chick I pulled into my room earlier hugs me tightly and begs me not to hurt him anymore. Something about a sexy chick begging that I just cant resist.
After that, everything is a blur and I am unclear what happened.
When I fully came to in the morning, my knuckles were sore and I felt like someone had hit me in my head with a hammer. My roommates inform me that the resident director had requested a meeting with me.
When I went to the meeting, I profusely apologized and explained to the RD what happened. Later that day when eyewitnesses were questioned by the RD (who was a jackass albeit a jackass with a sense of fairness) they confirmed my story. I was ordered to simply pay a $35 fine for "disturbing the peace."
As for the guy who ASSaulted me, I was prepared to bring charges against him because I was so disgusted with him. However, when I realized that I had broken his jaw, knocked out 3 teeth, and bruised his ribs, I figured that he had gotten what he deserved.
He transfered after that semester as people often clowned him because I beat him up so badly. I bet next time he feels like playing pranks, he will think twice. After all, he chose the wrong one to f*** with.
Hey, homo jokes are in no way my thing. He totally crossed the line.
Now, me being a true college student, I could never pass up a chance to party, so my roommates and I put our heads together and came up with a brilliant idea. We would through a Snow Party. Little did I know, this party would take a turn for the worse.
At first, things were great, lots of people, lots of drinks, lots of good food and plenty of drinks.
It was about 3 o'clock in the morning and the party had been going on for hours. This is where the aforementioned turn takes place.
First mishap. . . I meet this girl I'll call Meg and let's just say she was a little more than friendly. Well, I soon realize her intentions and snatch her into my room, forgetting to lock the door. As soon as her shirt is off and I am licking on her tits, a party guest comes bursting into the room. She freaks out, puts on her shirt and rejoins the party. After several feeble attempts to coax her back into my room, I resign myself and rejoin the party too. I'm pissed and down another shot of bacardi to try and maintain my cool.
Next mishap . . . I was totally wasted and apparently I was mooning random people at the party. Well, many people laughed it off and kept partying except one. He was apparently dead set on revenge. I passed out across the couch for about 2 minutes (I'm really not sure, I was totally wasted, but this is my best estimate).
Well, this guy sees me passed out and I hear him yelling obscenities at me although I am too blitzed to pay attention. Next, I feel something cold against my face and everything slowly registers. When everything has fully registered in about 30 seconds, I realize Holy S*** this guy has his bare ass against my face. To make matters much worse, people at the party are laughing hysterically. Everyone except me that is.
I immediately jump up with incredible hulk strength (although I am still wasted) and knock this guy as hard as I could across the face. He is stunned and staggers as if he was going to hit the floor.
In my drunken rage, I then kick this guy in his stomach two times as hard as I can before several party goers grab me imploring me to calm down. Meanwhile, this guy squirms on the floor in pain.
"Dude, he was just playing around," yells one of his friends trying to get me to calm down.
R "Playing!" I practically yell loud enough to wake the dead. "Do I look like I participate in any 'play' involving another dude's butt against my face?" I continue.
In my rage, I manage to get away from the two people who are holding me back and get one more swing at the guy. This one would prove the most detrimental because I knocked him in his face this time and he spit blood out of his mouth (I had knocked out 3 teeth).
Now, five people grab me and several people rush him out of the house. I am now so angry that I am in tears and fighting in vain to get these people to let go of me because I am determined that I am going to knock this fool senseless.
His only saving grace is that the chick I pulled into my room earlier hugs me tightly and begs me not to hurt him anymore. Something about a sexy chick begging that I just cant resist.
After that, everything is a blur and I am unclear what happened.
When I fully came to in the morning, my knuckles were sore and I felt like someone had hit me in my head with a hammer. My roommates inform me that the resident director had requested a meeting with me.
When I went to the meeting, I profusely apologized and explained to the RD what happened. Later that day when eyewitnesses were questioned by the RD (who was a jackass albeit a jackass with a sense of fairness) they confirmed my story. I was ordered to simply pay a $35 fine for "disturbing the peace."
As for the guy who ASSaulted me, I was prepared to bring charges against him because I was so disgusted with him. However, when I realized that I had broken his jaw, knocked out 3 teeth, and bruised his ribs, I figured that he had gotten what he deserved.
He transfered after that semester as people often clowned him because I beat him up so badly. I bet next time he feels like playing pranks, he will think twice. After all, he chose the wrong one to f*** with.
Hey, homo jokes are in no way my thing. He totally crossed the line.
- Salisbury University
Editors Note:
Good thing you didn't moon the poe poe.
Comments
Hahah who gives a fuck!!!! Just get naked and fuck!! loL!! So who would win? JP or Joseph? I think JP is too scared to fight, i mean considering the fact that he has to make people mad over a compute, haha. Funny shit. Stick your ass in Joseph's face and see what happens to you!! lol!!!! peace!
LOL YOU ARE ALL RETARDED
Wow....All this hostility....Look you morons, I'm just trying to piss you off....It's fun. Thanks for the entertainment!!!!!! IDIOTS!!!!!!!!
JP, get a life.
I'm the epitome of a frickin' idiot??? Really hurts coming from the King of Homophobes......You're really a therapist??? Scary!!!!!!!!!
Sure let's applaude his violent behaviour....This man who says he's a Psychologist, and a father of two......Beat your kids much????
You're a psychologist??? BULLSHIT!!!!!! If so, admit you over reacted......Projection??? Oh go fuck yourself with your psychobabble bullshit!!!!!!!! I'm done with this site, you're all just a bunch a spoiled little panzy assed prisses!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU!!!!!!!
It seems to me JP that you have so much to say because you're a pussy who wouldn't have had the balls to beat the shit out of somebody who assaulted you. Leave this man alone! He did what he should have done. And I bet that prankster will watch out next time he decides to do something like this.
After I read this story, I thought about something. He could have had this guy locked up, this falls into the same category as rape technically. Personally I don't feel he was wrong for beating the mess outta this guy. JP it seems to me that you are blaming someone who was victimized.
It's terrible that you would write something like that JP. I feel sorry for this guy. Obviously he didn't appreciate a distasteful prank played on him and he reacted impulsively. Come on dude you can do better than this. Seems to me he was perfectly within his rights to defend himself.
JP, You are the epitome of a frickin idiot! This is my story and understand this! I never crossed the line with a prank in that manner! My reason for fighting was that I felt violated, and that angry feeling was justified. Understand this too, nobody has the right to do that to me under any circumstances and I refuse to tolerate it. BUT . . . I don't know JP I am a psychologist now, and what you just said is known as a defense mechanism called projection. I think that you're the secret faggot because you seem to want to label everyone else that from your other posts. People who call other people fags so often are really masking their own insecurities. In other words, you are afraid that YOU are gay and so you want to project that onto other people as much as possible. I bet YOU were probably aroused reading this story and wishing YOU were on the receiving end. But it's okay. If that's your thing that is none of my business. Bottom line . . . I am comfortable with my sexuality to know that I am and will always be straight. BTW I am married with 2 children, been married for 5 years and dated her all thru college. So please don't try to project your own insecurities on me. Just be a man and face the fact that you're a faggot.
Sure, and I'll bet you've never crossed the line pulling a prank.....NO, you beat the shit out of him becuz you secretly liked it....You're a closet FAG!!!!!!