The guy screamed bloody murder and collapsed onto the floor grabbing his bleeding, swollen member.

Here's another funny story from my sister Shannon who went to Ole Miss that I'll call "Tuna Can Slam."

"My friend Carla with whom I'd commiserate over men, soaps, drinking binges and so forth was one tough bitch. She didn't take crap from any man and proved it once and for all during an incident that happened at her job.

Carla clerked at the Super Saver convenience store & gas station just off of campus many times late at night. Since OxFART, err, I mean "Oxford," Mississippi is a small shit-ass hayseed town, the only 24 hour places were: the Super Saver, a Hardees and a Kroger's. As a result, a number of neo-Bohemian types would hang out there late at night and smoke with Carla.

One night, Carla was by herself around 2 AM when this 30-something townie came in and starting getting together all of these groceries--a couple of cans of tuna, bread, mayonnaise, sodas, chips, toothpaste, etc. This was odd, because these items could be bought much more cheaply at Kroger. Carla rang them up and said "Okay, that'll be $45.83."

The guy said "Well, I don't have any money, so I'll pay for them with this instead..." and he unzipped his fly and put his hard cock right on the counter.

Carla was pissed and insulted. Without thinking, she grabbed a tuna can and SLAMMED it down HARD with all of her weight (5'7", 160 pounds) behind it directly onto his penis. Factor in the fact that this was when tuna cans were made of steel and had sharp edges on the top and bottom of the can, and you can just imagine the impact it made, not to mention the guts.

The guy screamed bloody murder and collapsed onto the floor grabbing his bleeding, swollen member in horrific pain. Carla called the police who were there in less than a minute to take a report on what happened. The cops were trying so hard not to laugh as they radioed for the ambulance. The guy took ten stitches in his hoo-hah as a result of his foolishness AND was arrested for indecent exposure.

Oh, and did I mention while they were waiting for the ambulance, a bunch of us neo-Bohemians came in smoking cigarettes and saw the guy on the floor after which Carla recounted the events to us. All of us, including the local fuzz were laughing so hard that we had tears coming from our eyes.

"I'm still here you know..." the idiot moaned meekly from the floor as we laughed.

This story still floats around Ole Miss to this day. So here's a lesson for you fellows: don't whip it out if there's a tuna can within a woman's reach!"