Big girls need love, too

So there I was, sitting outside of this house at a party. It was your average party. Not too big, not too small. There were people I knew, and people who I had never seen before.

I'm sitting back with my roommate, smoking a cigarette, just shooting the shit. We were talking to some girls we had never met before. Now these weren't your average girls you see at a college party with a bunch of fraternity brothers around. These were the girls you never brought to those parties. You know the ones I’m talking about. The ones that make your break the second golden rule of never sleep with a chick that weighs more than you.

So there we are just drinking and having fun, and one of these girls catches my eye. It wasn't in a way where I was checking her out, but rather, more that I saw her staring at me, so I looked back. She was checking me out, but it didn't bother me because of a few things I know: (1) when a girl checks you out (regardless of looks or weight), it is a compliment, and (2) fat girls need loving too.

Now I wasn't at all thinking about this girl in a sexual way. I was just there to have fun, get drunk, go home, and wake up hungover. Those were my intentions.

After a while the party was slowly dying down and not many people were left. I was giving everyone my "See ya later," when I saw the girl who was checking me out still there. I was heading out the front door when I heard "Hey, can you give me a ride? All my friends left me."

Now I'm a nice guy and have no intentions of taking Golden Rule No. 2 Breaker back to my place, so I decided I would give her a ride to her place, and just be nice.

I take her to her place on campus and realized she stayed next to a couple of my fraternity brothers. Not caring about her, I parked the car to go hang out with them when I hear "Are you coming up?"

At this point I'm in one of my drunken stupors and don't care what I'm doing, yet I'm still at the point where I know what I'm doing. I decided to go up so she wouldn't hound me about it, and when we get there she goes straight to the bed.

I realize I'm at the point of no return. You know that point where you tell yourself to leave before it gets ugly or stay and make a life's mistake. Knowing that I'm at that point I tell myself there was no way I was about to lay next to her and stay.

So there I was laying next to her watching a movie, and everything was going good. I was about to pass out, and she was about to fuck it all up. Right when I'm at the point of passing out, she reaches over and starts fondling my member.

Now I know that it's against the second golden rule and all, but I hadn't been laid in two months and my needs were about to supercede my conscience.

We start making out, and I realize what I'm doing five minutes after I started ramming her. After realizing it was too late to go back, I decided to go ahead and get mine so I would at least have the satisfaction of achieving my orgasm. Right when I was about to blow, Golden Rule No. 2 Breaker unleashes Niagara Falls on my nether regions, soaking me, the bed, and the floor. Yes, the floor, too!

Needless to say it took the mood out of me and caused me to lose any chance I had of getting mine. So after a little while longer I gave up. I put on my boxers, jeans, shirt, and shoes. It was after I was fully dressed and reaching for my keys that she asked "Aren't you gonna stay?"

Having had sex with the beluga and knowing I was really in no shape to be driving at all that night, I laid next to her and hoped for a good excuse to surface so I could bail.

All of a sudden, my phone rings. It's my drunken roommate, and he needs a ride. Now my roommate is one of those drunken roommate who stumbles in at seven in the morning on Saturday still up from the night before and has two eighteen packs, one in each hand. He normally stumbles in my room, waking me while throwing a beer on my morning wood and telling me to wake up and drink with him. Yeah, that kinda roommate.

He knew he was in no shape to drive, and drive what, he couldn't remember where his car was. So I had my excuse, and ran out of Golden Rule No. 2 Breaker's apartment as if I was running a 40m dash. I was gone.

After picking up my roommate from an afterparty he was attending, we were on our way back to our place. My phone goes off. I had a text message and my roommate was sitting on my phone, which was in the passenger seat.

You guessed it. The beluga had sent me a text message saying "Come back over, I wanna get more kinky." My roommate stumbled onto my phone and reads the message to me. Having met the girl earlier, he asked, "Who's (beluga)". I know he was in a blacked-out stage, so I just play it off and say, "oh some girl I've been hooking up with."

That's when he asked it. In his drunken stupor he asked "Is she hot?" Now, I'm not one for regrets, I just learn from my mistakes, but this one call for a huge lie.

"She's doable." I said as he rolls over trying to fall asleep in his drunken state.

Needless to say, I have since received several dozen text messages from the baluga and several phone calls. I have ignored all of them and intend to keep doing so.

I just hope my dick forgives me.