"Put your finger in the blender," I slurred

A few years ago over Christmas/ Summer break (I live in New Zealand), I was working for my parents in a Restaurant/Bar in a little place called Lake Tekapo (pop 300). One Thursday night my father said that something was wrong with one of the kegs. Unfortunately, the beer company doesn’t give money back on kegs as they have no way of telling how much beer is left. Therefore my father suggested that I invite my best mate down to drink as much of it as we want.

Dad then gave me the key said knock yourself and went home.

So my mate and I tried in vain to finish a keg between the two of us. After a few hours, we were absolutely wasted and decided to go see if the local pub was open. It wasn’t so we headed to a pizza place with a bar. Once there we gave it a go to try and finish the Beam they had there.

Sitting on the bar was a kitchen blender for cocktails and all that. I started to play with it -- revving it like a car engine and making heaps of noise. I got bored of this quickly and told my mate to stick his finger in the blender. He said, “sweet” and stuck it in (don’t panic the blender wasn’t on, so it was perfectly safe).

Now for reasons still unknown today, when his finger got to the bottom I turned the blender on. "FUUUUCK" was my mate’s response. He withdrew his now bloodied finger. The inside of the blender was covered in blood and he was dripping blood all over the floor.

The bar staff went ballistic and wanted to call an ambulance. But luckily we were drinking with the local paramedic. He took a quick look at the end of my mate’s finger. There were four real deep cuts. Since it was a long drive (approximately an hour) to the nearest hospital, and all they would do is give him a couple of stitches, the paramedic said to take a couple of hard pills and he’d be fine.

So we just kept drinking and spent the next few days arguing over who was stupider. I didn’t think he would put his finger in the blender and he didn’t think that I would turn it on.

We are still best of mates and get on the piss all the time, we just stay well away from blenders. And in case you’re wondering, his finger is fine now.