I had to pour three gallons of bleach on that mess

Junior year I was attending Salisbury University and my roommate was literally the dirtiest person I had ever met. I had seen the typical roommates, you know . . . the ones who throw dirty clothes in the middle of the floor and don’t wash them until all their clean clothes, even the emergency swim trunks used as boxers are dirty. Them I could deal with. And I realize that I am no clean freak myself, but this a**hole was just down right nasty.

One night, my brother and I were getting ready to go to a party. My brother went to the liquor store to get some Hennessey and coke. Fortunately our roommate, Dylan wasn’t home. This meant that we would be able to leave without him asking to party with us. While my brother was getting the drinks, I decided to take a shower after neatly ironing my brand new clothes. I go in the bathroom to shower and the inconsiderate prick, Dylan, had the bathroom in total shambles. The toilet was stopped up and filled with brown water, the seat was covered in wet toilet paper, and there was water on the floor peppered with blue toilet bowl cleaner chips, and pieces of feces. I almost puked at this sight.

I went to my neighbor’s house and told him I had an emergency and needed to go to the store ASAP. Fortunately, he was understanding and took me to Food Lion, where I proceeded to buy three gallons of bleach.

When I got home, I took the bleach and I poured it directly on the floor, in the toilet, and all over everything else in the bathroom. Then, I put on a pair of Dylan’s good shoes (to get even with that inconsiderate bastard), and went in the bathroom. I had to plunge that fu**ing nasty toilet being careful that nothing splashed on me, until eventually it flushed. Then, I took a mop and for the next hour, mopped up the water off the floor. Once that was done, I took rags and wiped down every surface in the bathroom for a half hour, until our bathroom looked cleaner than it was the day we moved in (and even after all that cleaning, I still was unable to walk on that floor for two weeks because of what I saw).

Then, get this, he comes back later on that evening with a female friend of his. She says “Oh my gosh, you all keep this place spick and span.” He says, “Well, you know my roommate overreacted and threw bleach all over the bathroom earlier.”

I had had enough and I ran out to confront him. I mean when did he want me to overreact, when I stepped in sh**. I asked him if it was him that made the toilet overflow. His answer made me angrier than the sight I saw. He tells me no, he didn’t stop up the toilet.

“Oh yeah, then what was that on the floor.”

He says, “it was just blue and brown water, relax.”

I’d like to have choked him right then and there. Not only does he completely demolish my bathroom, but then he insults my intelligence by lying right to my face. For the remainder of that year, my brother and I did not speak to this Son-of-a-bit**. Not so much as one hello. When we went out, we never invited him, and when he tried to invite himself along, we’d just ignore him. After being ignored for the whole semester, he finally moved out, which was just as we had planned.

Needless to say, never in my life, did I ever want another college roommate, other than my brother. And to date, I have not had one.