There was this one fat cop with leaves in his hair all out of breath and looking pissed...

We were just getting started after a long day of drinking. We had been drinking since noon and we had to make something more exciting happen. My friend Trek comes up with the great idea to go get some fireworks. I’m not being one to turn down an opportunity to play with fireworks, especially when I’m drunk—so I was pumped.

As soon we got all the fireworks out of my friend’s trunk we realized how many fireworks we had. There were at least 400 large bottle rockets and a ton of fire crackers. We decided it would be the most fun to launch all of our fireworks at a single house making it seem as if they are taking fire by enemy rockets (yes, this was seriously our drunken thought process).

We lined all of our fireworks up and the four of us started to light them off all at the same time. About eight minutes into the onslaught, some guy came running out with a shovel, directly at us, with a completely psychopathic look in his eye and determination in his gait. We all fired our biggest fireworks at him, to try to ward him off.

Even though one actually hit him square in his junk, he still kept running towards us, so we all get up and ran back to my friend’s house.

Safely away from the psycho homeowner, we drank about four more fifth's before we came up with the unanimous decision to get that mother fucker for what he did. We realized that we still had an abundance of fireworks left and, so we got ready for war.

We taped groups of four fireworks together, to make “mini bombs.” After about a half hour of preparation, we had around 100 quadruple bottle rockets with the wicks all tied together. We head out after smoking a fat bowl.

As soon as we got there, we went into action setting up for our next attack. We start lighting them off as soon as we get our first line ready. Five minutes later we heard sirens, so we all grabbed what we could and ran like hell. We safely got across the main road and back into our neighborhood thinking we were in the clear.

So, we relaxed a bit, and started talking and out of nowhere, a black car starts flooring the gas right at us. We freak out and all split up in different directions knowing that we all must meet in the same house at the end of the night. After a over an hour of hiding in a bush, where I saw four different cops pass me by, I finally feel it’s safe to leave and make a run for it.

I’m approaching the house, as I see a cruiser across the street from the house. Since I was on the same side of the street as the cruiser, I had to make a run across the street to get to the house. I make a dash for it, but the cop spots me. I keep running though as he gets out of his car to chase me. I barely make it back into the house and I immediately slam the door and bolt lock it.

The cop is banging at the door but I just try to ignore it and buy us some time. Finding that my other friends had already made it into the house, we were all freaking out that there was a cop outside. We chill in the basement and just hoped the problem would go away.

Of course, it didn’t just “go away.” My friend went upstairs to look out the window and he said there were five cop cars outside and cops walking on the front lawn. I call my buddies upstairs to look at this as we start to really panic.

I guess one of my buddies was seen as we were looking out the window because they then came to our back porch where we had a bottle on the ground and a packed bowl just sitting there. Our kitchen faces the back patio and the cops are shining their lights in all the windows trying to see who was inside. All of us hit the floor and crawled as low to the ground as possible trying to avoid the lights.

We keep the door locked all night and somehow the cops eventually left. My brother stopped by the next day and said he was driving by when he saw the cops making a plan of action in the middle of the street. He said he saw this one fat cop with leaves in his hair all out of breath and he looked really pissed. That proves those pigs right, they spent all night looking for a way into the house with no success.

Next time don’t fuck with our plans.....