"Hey Jeff, you're not going to puke on me are you?"

It was the first week after rush and I was pledging the fraternity of my choice. That day, I was at the house just hanging out and trying to get to know some of the brothers.

I had been pretty wasted the night before, so I was planning on taking it easy. And, after only about fifteen minutes of 3-man, I started wandering around the house to see what else was going on.

Let me mention that there was a particularly obnoxious girl following me around that night, who also happened to be fat as hell.

I went outside and one of the older brothers asked me to funnel with him, to which I hesitantly agreed.

About half an hour--and12 beers--later, we decided to go smoke some pot. That's when my entire universe began spinning. I'm not really sure what happened for the next 20 minutes or so, but a short while after that, I snapped out of it. I found myself on a couch in the house, and sure enough, fat ass was right there next to me.

I remember her asking me at least 3 or 4 times: "Hey Jeff, you're not going to puke on me are you?"

To which I replied "No" each time.

Then she asked me again, and I proceeded to throw up all over the entire left half of her doughy body. She ran away screaming, while I stumbled outside and sat with my head between my legs for the next 3 hours. She didn't talk to me for a while after that. I guess the moral of the story is: if you want an excessively fat, obnoxious chick to leave you alone, just regurgitate on her.