"Ooh, Girl you gettin' yo freak on!"

Queens offers free condom's and my boyfriend Josh's school does not. So, before summer begins I decide that I must go to the Health and Wellness Center to stock up.

After classes on Friday I psych myself up to go because I am still prudishly embarrassed, but as soon as I walk in, I find someone else in the waiting room. It is absolutely impossible for me to get the condoms that are in the giant fishbowl.

So, I foolishly decide to pick up a few eating disorder pamphlets (I'm 145 lbs, by the way).

So, my good friend Jessic, who is totally fearless, offers to go in for me. However, she chooses to tell our bohemeian Nurse Allison that she is in there for me. Several students in the waiting room, Nurse Allison, the receptionist, and worst of all, our legendary cafeteria lady, Miss Betsy all form a trail out of the building.

Miss Betsy begins to laugh hysterically at me and say, "Ooh, Girl you gettin' yo freak on!" and "You can't fool your MAMA!"

Then she procedes to dance around me while the rest of the parade throws condoms in my book bag.

Unfortunately, they were magnums. Lets be honest, who needs those things anyway.