She was fit, nicely shaped, perfectly tan, wild curly brown hair with blond highlights and about 25

When I was at a music conservatory, my roommate sophomore year was gay, which was nothing new at that place. He was a little too handsome, and looked a bit like Brad Pitt on a bad day.

Inevitably, Ted made a play for me one day, and I told him no thanks. Two weeks later, the awkwardness was over, and we remained friends. It never happened again. We found ourselves on the same choir tour through the bible belt, singing at churches and colleges in places like Waco, TX.

After a concert one night, we were at a hotel, and a few of us were hanging around this bar/swimming pool area. I was swimming a few laps, cooling off and working up to a few beers. I stopped to take a breath, looked around, and there was Ted with this totally hot chick’s hands around his neck, her floating body cradled in his arms. She was fit, nicely shaped, perfectly tan, wild curly brown hair with blond highlights, and perfect makeup even when wet. It turns out, she was a political strategist/consultant, in town on business, and also in the hotel. We were about 20, she was about 25.

He said, “Daniel, hold her for me, please, I have to take a leak,” and he handed me this girl. She smiled and put her perfectly manicured hands around my neck. He got out of the pool, and headed for the john. I pulled her hard body close to mine, in the water, and wondered who might be watching.

I was feeling totally awkward. I figured, incorrectly, that she was rented, but in fact, she was just enamored with Ted.

She said to me, “there’s something about your friend. He has a certain stardust quality about him.” We made chit-chat, as if it was a totally normal, polite, and appropriate conversation between strangers, despite the fact that she was practically naked, in my arms, and mostly under water. Actually, there didn’t seem to be any sort of sexual dynamic between us. It was more like, there was one between her and Ted, and I was just keeping it warm for him. Sounds weird, but well, that’s what it was.

Ted returned in a few minutes. We all dried off and dressed, and then hit the bar. We hung out, laughed, drank, traded life stories, and had snacks for about three hours. Then, I finished my beer, and announced that I was turning in. They said, “See ya,” and I went to my room, which I shared with Ted.

I stepped into the shower to rinse off the chlorine and cigarette smoke, and in about a minute, the door opened, and Ted called, “Daniel, we’re here.”

“Fine,” I said.

I got dried off, put on a T-shirt and boxers, and went into the main room.

“Her roommate’s in her room, and she’s very Christian, so we’re going to hang here for a bit,” he said.

“Fine,” I said. They went into the bathroom to take a shower. There were some giggles but no thumping sounds. I was in my bed, pretending to read a book.

Ted came out, dressed in a towel. He said, “Lights out, please,” with his childish grin that drives all the guys, and apparently some girls, crazy, but always annoyed the hell out of me.

“I’m not leaving,” I said, a little pissed.

He looked back in the bathroom, and they whispered to each other.

“We’ll try not to bother you,” he said.

I put down my book, turned out the light, and wondered what my girlfriend was doing.

There was a rustling in the dark, as they found their way into the other bed, got under the sheets, and started at each other, as if I weren’t there.

“You’re so beautiful,” Ted said to her.

"Kiss me, sexy," she said to him. After some more blanket rustling, she exhaled and said, "Oh, yeah."

Like most hotel rooms, there were two small double beds, pretty close together. They were close enough that if you were being fucked in one bed, you could reach your perfectly manicured hand across to the other bed and hold someone else’s hand.

So, I held her hand, which was getting sweatier and sweatier, limper and limper, and I was frantically weighing the pros and cons of trying to invite myself in, as I was getting harder and harder under my sheets.

Ultimately, I decided to just hold hands. Sorry to disappoint, and I’ve often wondered about that decision. But Ted was a major AIDS risk, and she likely was too. I had a girlfriend. Though I was clear with him about my orientation, there’s no way he wouldn’t have tried to touch me, in a threesome. Call me conservative, but that thought grossed me out, more than she turned me on. And being roommates would have been way too awkward afterwards.

I held her hand, and she squeezed it hard, as she came for him. She left, while I was still mostly asleep, and kissed my forehead. Though Ted immediately returned to a gay lifestyle, I understand that they still hook up periodically, every couple years, when they are in the same city.