With the cops looking on, my buddy's high school-aged brother pissed himself while in his drunken stupor

I have a nice apartment that I am renting out with a two buddies of mine. One weekend they left to visit their homes back in our respective hometown. I had initially planned on just having a quiet weekend of watching football, eating and sleeping. Though several of my friends who remained in Tallahassee decided it would be a great opportunity to have a small party at my place. I figured as along as we kept the numbers in check, it would be a good time. A keg and a few bottles of decent rum and vodka would suffice for our intentions. Well, as with most any party, the word spread faster than Paris Hilton’s video over the Internet.

People that I did not know started showing up. Many of whom, thankfully brought their own supply of alcohol. The stream of people never ended, and soon the party was getting out of hand. Pantries were being raided. The fridge was emptying at an alarming rate, and of course I had worries of being busted by FSU’s very own Party Patrol. The Party Patrol is a special detachment of the FSU Police Department that specifically looks for parties that are violating ordnances, specifically involving underage drinking.

Well, there was an inordinate amount of underage going on, and I began to get very worried. Minutes passed at an agonizingly slow rate. Every glance at the clock was almost a disappointment. Despite the rowdiness of some “party-ticipants”, the party began to wind down. I was relieved as people began leaving.

Everybody who was not either passed out, or didn’t know me eventually left. At this point I definitely thought I was in the clear and began cleaning some glasses and the expected puke in the kitchen and bathroom. I walked into the living room to see that one passed out guy on the couch had pissed himself. Though somewhat conscious of the fact that I would have to clean the couch later, I dismissed it from my immediate attention and chuckled at the embarrassment that guy would feel the next morning.

I was doing some more cleaning in the kitchen when I heard a strange noise. I walked back to the living room and low and behold, it was the same guy, standing up this time with his member whipped out, pissing on my couch! “Dude! What are you doing?!” I yelled in a shell-shocked manner.

He replied with a nonchalant, “I gotta piss man.” By the time I got him to realize exactly what he was doing he was finished. He had brought along his little brother who is still in high school, who also was passed out on an adjacent reclining chair. I immediately began cleaning the unbelievable mess he made and sent him to the bathroom when the dreaded happened. I heard a knock on the door, and it was none other than the police. They came in and began asking me questions about the party. Apparently there were noise complaints from some neighbors. Then in an unbelievable stroke of both good and bad luck, my buddy’s little brother pissed himself while in the chair! The two policemen and I witnessed it as it happened. I remember thinking, ‘You have got to be kidding me….’

That was possibly the worst possible thing that could have happened right? The room reeked of urine with the huge spot on the couch and the newly added from the little brother. The policemen discussed something among themselves for a brief moment and turned to me to ask if the spot on the couch was also urine. I responded with a yes. “Well, we could write you up for underage possession of alcohol, dispensing of alcohol to underage persons, and a noise violation. But, from what we see, we think that your clean up job is going to be punishment enough.”

They then gave me the expected warning that if they had to return in the future, tickets would be issued. So it turns out that the tendency in my friend’s family to lose bladder control ended up getting me out of some nasty tickets, but graced me with one hell of a cleanup job.