To this day my cousin doesn't know the truth

My cousin came down for a visit. He'd just broken up with his girlfriend and he wanted to party, get drunk, and hopefully get laid. My roommate and I threw a party in our room and we invited everyone we could think of. Let me explain how the room situation worked. My best friend from high school and I went to the same college and roomed together freshman year. Sophomore year we had doubles next to each other. I moved into his double and we used my double for parties, dates, studying, etc.

We're at the party and a small mob shows up. My cousin is steadily getting sauced and is quite happy that he's got a good selection of girlies. One of the girls at the party starts talking to me and we hit it off. The more and more we drink, the hornier and hornier we get. Since I'd had CD's stolen from the party room, I kept my CD collection in the other one. She wanted to hear some Aerosmith, so I told her I'd go get it. She came with. As I looked for the CD in the rack, she started hugging me from behind and rubbing my junk. Within seconds, we were naked. Soon I’m going for a rubber, slip it on, and proceed to bang her like a screen door in a hurricane. Just as I released, I feel something strange. I pull out and see that the condom broke.

Naturally, I start to freak out, but she tells me she's on the pill. Aside from whatever horrifying diseases I could catch, I was more at ease since I didn't have to worry about pregnancy. I put my clothes on and tell her I'm going back to the party. She complains that I should stay with her. I tell her to come with me and explain that my cousin drove five hours to hang out, I threw the party, and I should be there. She comes back to the party and totally ignores me because I wouldn't cuddle afterwards and share in some pillow talk or whatever. An hour later, I see her making out with some other guy. All I can think is, "I hope he likes the taste of my dick." This thought was apparently some sort of cosmic foreshadowing. Anyway, I end up getting blitzed, I hook up with another chick, and we head back to the other room. The girl and I were in the room alone and all I remember is getting a hand job while we were talking and then I fell asleep waiting for it to turn into a blow job.

The next morning, my cousin comes in and wakes me up. The girl I was with woke up too and freaked out since she was sleeping on top of the covers and she was buck naked. She got dressed, kissed me, and left. (As a side note, that was the first time I'd ever seen her and I never saw her again. Furthermore, she had her clothes on when I fell asleep and I have no idea whether or not I ever got that BJ or more.) My roommate rolls out of his bed and my cousin starts telling me about this girl he hooked up with last night.

Apparently, at the end of the party, he and this chick watched some movies, had a few more drinks and then got down and dirty. We ask which girl it was and he tells us she's still on the bed in the party room. He also tells us he pulled back the covers when he left, so we could get a good look at her. My roommate and I walk over, crack the door and look in. My roommate says, "Damn, she's hot. I was dying to get with her all night."

My response: "Holy shit...I DID!" It was the broken condom chick! We have a brief discussion and then figure we shouldn't say anything to my cousin. We get back and my cousin has this great big "conquest smile" on his face. My roommate, being a dick, asks, "So, did you eat that pussy?" My cousin goes on and on about how he couldn't get enough because she was "a bit of a gusher and that's fuckin' sweet." He then continued talking about how awesome it is when a chick just drenches your face. As I thought of my cousin slurping my spunk out of this chick, I almost puked. My roommate on the other hand, couldn't stop laughing. To this day, ten years later, my cousin still has no idea what we found so funny about him hooking up with a hottie.