I missed the last three steps hit my head on the wall but kept moving

One night I’d say oh my 6th week of freshman year I realized “I haven’t been getting drunk enough yet!” Now granted I have been drinking since I was in was about 14 so I did have a pretty good tolerance. Now the only drink that had come close to making me pass out was Jager Bombs, for idiots that's Jager and Red Bull.

So I grab my fake ID and headed downtown to a shady liquor store with a man who twitches more than Muhammad Ali. I get the bottle of Jag and head back uptown taking the bus so I can make it to my dorm before dinner is over.

After dinner my roommate and I stare at my prize for about 5 minutes then it dawns on us that he has to work tonight, so he heads to work at a little place commonly referred to as THE freshman bar. I on the other hand decide to sit in front of the T.V. with a ROTC guy who lives two floors below me and plow through the bottle! Now I maybe seen as someone in need of A.A. but I am not!

So it is now 9:45 and the parties from the calls I’m getting are getting good. Or there were enough drunken ladies that someone would take me home. So I stroll up on the usual party courtyard. I see my boys standing around in true circle jerk fashion just talking to each other.

Then I see a hot girl, this is hot by any standards no beer goggles needed. Now I decide I need to get up to her apartment (plus they had a keg). I yell at her to buzz me in that I wanted to get trashed with her, now when my buddies see this they followed like lemmings.

She and I talked while downing some fine Busch Light, the crappiest beer ever made. My buddies are getting more girls in the apartment. So I am feeling like I’m three sheets to the wind, and she decides to have me sit down on the couch till I feel better. She then asks me if I wanted to hang out for a while with her after everyone left. Of course my slurring and swaying could not stop me from saying yes.

Alright now you think I am going to score right. Well I was close everyone was about to leave it was just going to be me and the hot chick. That party in my stomach turns into an all out gang war between Jager, Bitter Beer, and Red Bull. It had to end, I told those booze devils to just get out. If you don’t get it, I threw up all over her carpet.

Luckily she was in the bathroom so I stood up and got what bearings I could gather and took off running slamming every five seconds into a wall. I missed the last three steps hit my head on the wall but kept moving. Got all the way to THE freshman bar and sat down with my fake and my roommate to tell him what happened three pitchers of beer later I pass out and get dragged two blocks back to the dorm by the two guys from down the hall.

Needless to say I never saw her again in fact the next day I cut my hair and styled it different so she would never know who to blame for that puke. But I still kick myself for not telling her that it was somebody else and that I couldn’t catch them.