Jared was still a virgin, so I decided to give him a hand

As a freshman at the good ol' UT, life was good! I even had one of my best guy friends from high school there to party with in Knoxville. Jared was a great guy, funny, kind of dorky looking, and still a virgin.

By the time Christmas Break rolled around, I was very well acquainted with those southern gents. Jared and I still hung out and I noticed he was not having nearly as much luck with the ladies.

As his friend, I indeed felt bad for him. So one night, I decided to de-virginize him.

NOT a good night...

It was getting hot and heavy and poor ol' Jared was still limp... So I gave him a hand if you know what I mean, but still nothing. Jared decides to go ahead with it anyway. Yes, the idiot tries to screw me with a limp dick!

So after about 20 minutes of me laying on my back being bored out of my mind, he finally rolled off me. Thank god.

So the next day we don't even mention anything about it. Then I hear him telling one of his friends how he lost his virginity. I listened in on the conversation:

"So man, how was it?"
"Aww it was amazing."
"So how long did you last? Usually the first time is like 10 minutes."
"I lasted a good 30 minutes, man."

This made my jaw drop. Does he even know what "lasting" means?

I'm pretty sure my good friend Jared is gay.