Something about that place, makes people randy

I read this article awhile back that indicated Western supplied more girls with STDs per capita than any other school in Canada. Implicit was the message that Western girls preferred multiple orgasm over safe sex. I remember there was this photograph of one of the dons with two cocks in her mouth. You see shit like that and it plants seeds. Makes you think it’s possible, even easy. Then you turn on the TV and there's more! “Western College Girls II,” that Internet Saugeen Orgy video. You could have had hundreds of women, if you just had gotten in early. And that's exactly what I wanted to do. Get in! I didn't want to be an innovator. I just wanted the quick and easy screw. I just wanted in! Notorious B.I.G said it best, you're either slinging crack rock, or you've got a wicked mad Cock. Nobody wants to work for it anymore. There's no honour in dating for weeks before she puts out. Honour's in saving those dollars kid. So I went the White Jewish boy way of slinging crack rock. I screwed in the library.

This story, like many others, begins with a guest arriving from home for the weekend bash. Being the premier host I am, I had to make sure my female visitor saw campus. Particularly the D.B. Weldon Library. The most poorly made piece of architecture, but a great place for a quickie. Like many other Western students, I find that all of the 283 Tim Horton's coffee locations on campus puts some sort of lactose in the coffee and thus makes you shit. Floor one to five, including periodicals have sub-par facilities. Following the east stairway to the bottom (G), I noticed another place to take the Cosby's out for a swim. I soon then, revisited that stall with my female friend, with the intentions of sex. Her Pap-Smear revealed no positive indications of any diseases. So I persisted with just about the best eight minutes of intercourse in a public place probably ever in my life. She was moaning, I was panting and the realization that there was only a small possibility of an intruder, we were fully able to enjoy ourselves. (Remember those times when you first brought girls home with your parents sleeping and had to worry that your mother was going to walk in your room with your girlfriend's pussy on your face.) Living away from home eliminates that worry, or a lock on your door.

Well sonny, she wiped up, I was able to bring a story home, and nobody had a word for the wiser. We had sex in DB Weldon Library.

I thought this was a pretty cool accomplishment. I can't wait until the next time there is a power outage in the library where I can reimburse myself for the $35 fine I was tagged with getting caught eating and steal some books and maybe desecrate a cubicle. I wonder what the fine for public campus affection is. Does anybody know?

Sunday came about and I wanted to try library sex again. But this time I wanted to experiment. Not with a new location, not with another girl joining, not a different position, but a different hole.

All I came to the library with were the clothes on my back and the two bucks I had in my pocket. No spermacide rubbers, no videotape, and unfortunately no KY water based lubricant. I hadn't tried anal before but I knew there were two spots in the butt that you had to puncture for her to enjoy this form people refer to as sodomy. Without thinking to warm up the bread basket and have her loosen, I up tried to penetrate right off the bat. Two centimetres in, I heard a scream of crying pain. Realizing quickly what I had done, I turned her around and she tears like never before. I will never forget that face of my girlfriend in that pain. I hope no girl ever has to experience what I put her through.

Unless she was faking. That was the first time I had seen her cry in six months since we began our relationship. The second was when she dumped me eight months later. She took the dignity but I got to keep the stories.

Hell of a gal she was. Readers of this are probably not curious but we still keep it casual. Missionary, cowgirl, reserve cowgirl, reverse rodeo. I liked making her happy.

I guess the moral of the story is I am afraid of trying anal, having a private washroom in the library is great and something about DB makes people horny. One thing I found strange but great was people wrote on the walls of the stalls. But one day they took away our free speech fundamental freedom and put up a metal sheet to restrict us from reading stall humor. That's a shame.