She lived entirely on fast food delivered to the apartment, spent way too long in the bathroom...

I'm a grad student. My roommate of one year, Amy, insisted that we bring a third roommate into the apartment, Lisa, whom Amy swore she knew well.

Lisa moved in, and the nightmare started. She lived entirely on fast food delivered to the apartment, spent way too long in the bathroom, and suddenly, the toilet was stopped up ALL THE TIME.

She blamed it on the plumbing and started putting her used toilet paper in the trash can instead of flushing it. Gross. Anything else thrown in the bathroom trash tended to come out of it along with the piles of used t.p.

She watched TV ALL THE TIME, and not good stuff either. Lifetime movies, "reality" TV, and, once, a biography of a porn star on VH1 -- but once when I had the volume up to watch a video that was HOMEWORK (I am a film studies minor) she complained that it was disturbing her sleep.

Her friend threw up on my couch. They left that alone for 24 hours, so I cleaned it myself.

It was IMPOSSIBLE to study or work, but studying is for squares. Anyway Lisa didn't need to -- according to Amy, she got straight As and is an effortless model student.

Lisa is also condescending and abusive. I was depressed and couldn't work at home for months. I avoided people because I felt like I was crap. And really I was. I mean, I had good grades, a job, and friends outside the TV, but Lisa was beautiful (she is) and apparently smarter than me because she did well academically without needing to study at all.

Amy, meanwhile, is friendly to everyone all the time, so she just ignored it all and agreed that our plumbing is bad. (She wasn't around during winter break, when Lisa was also gone and the plumbing never malfunctioned.)

And Lisa? Last I heard, she was unemployed, depressed about it, and, despite sending out 200 resumes from her laptop in front of the TV, cannot understand why no one wants to offer her a job.

Amy says that this is hard for her so we must be nice to her.

I'm moving.