Imagine the site of the driver in the car next to you, puking all over himself

[To read this in the correct order, start with Part 1]
Ryan proceeded to drink his vodka, and ended up “getting lost” for 30 minutes, in our own house mind you, and he woke up the next day with two new phone numbers, still not sure who they belong to--and he supposedly told a girl that he was going to go to a concert with her. He doesn’t remember any of it. Throughout the night Ryan walked around yelling something about $4,000 boobs, which he had the pleasure of enjoying during spring break. The next morning he woke up and asked Tony, who passed out on his couch, and spilled PowerAde on his carpet. Tony’s answer was that Ryan woke up in the middle of the night and threw up, tried to get to the garbage can, threw up in the garbage can but it was full so it just ran onto the floor.

Jamie, with his brand new camera decides to take a few pictures of all ten bottles of empty mad dog lined up in Ryan’s room. And by a few I mean about 30, with many of them having people posing with the bottles. I must admit there were some good pics. Among the many pictures taken, was one of Ryan’s dick, not sure why or how this one happened. Jamie was also playing with some rather large rubber bands at one point, and for some reason I thought he was going to hit me with one, so feeling invincible I turned around and let him snap me, however he stretched said rubber band to about 5 feet and gave me quite the shot. Even though I was extremely drunk I could still tell it hurt, a lot.

Downstairs there was a large poker game going on, and after we finished our race Jamie went downstairs to see how it was going, but before he went down he had found a pair of lab glasses from chemistry, and thought it would be fashionable to wear those for a while. So he sat down at the poker table with the lab goggles, and proceeded to annoy everyone at the table. He eventually managed to make someone so mad that they knocked Jamie’s feet off the table and consequently knocking Jamie to the ground. Jamie doesn’t take this too well and tips the whole table over, then storms away. Later that night Jamie accidentally locked Andy out of their room and when Andy wakes Jamie up, he goes into a drunken rage. Andy just grabs a blanket and goes downstairs to sleep on the couch. Jamie lays back down in bed, and eventually crawls out the window, in turn breaking the window, and then goes to his car and passes out for an hour or so, until his girlfriend picks him up and they leave.

Andy, despite 8AM work beckoning, continued to drink all night. He showed up at work at 9, still noticeably drunk. Michael and I we go into a brother’s room and Michael decides to draw a huge penis on his TV, and Andy grabs his guitar and is about to play, until he realizes he doesn’t remember how to play anything.

I ended up drinking all my beer that night, and I guess I pulled what was left of Ryan’s vodka, and ran around the house yelling something. Throughout the night there were numerous pictures of me rocking out with my air guitar, I think every room I went into I turned the music up as loud as my ears could handle (which was undoubtedly much louder than the sober(er) occupants would have liked). After a period of blackout, I decided it would be in the best interest of my liver that I go upstairs and sleep. I bust into my room and my roommate Tony is talking to some girl. I didn’t care that she was there, I wanted to pass out--so I flop down on my bed. I can’t get comfortable/I don’t think it’s a good idea to be in my bed, so I slither (little to no energy usage) onto the floor, while my roommate is still in the room with the girl.

I pass out on the floor.

Tony goes out to the bar eventually, and when he gets back he finds me passed out on the floor, with a puddle of puke beside me. Anyways he throws down some newspaper, Big Daddy style, and thinks to himself ‘well it looks like we’re sleeping on the floor tonight,’ and proceeds to pass out on the floor with me. Later on in the night I decide to get back in my bed.

The next morning as I am lying in my bed, I think to myself ‘I hope what happened when I was sleeping last night was a dream,’ I roll over to see if it had really happened, and yes it did. So I roll back over and with the hangover to end all hangovers, I fall back a sleep.

Keith, eventually decided he is fine to drive home and somehow convinced everyone he knew what he was talking about. He is not sure of the sequence in which these events occurred but here they are. During the ride home, Keith throws up on himself, while driving. He remembers that his sister asked him to stop by the grocery store and pick up some food, among other stuff. So, he returns home with 2 gallons of milk, 2 boxes of cereal and some water. This of course is not exactly what he was supposed to get. He also drove to the wrong house that night, and got very angry when his key wouldn’t open the front door, causing a ruckus he awoke the family inside. Once Keith realizes this isn’t his house, he panicked, dropping one of the gallons of milk on the ground. But imagine driving down the road and seeing someone throw up on themselves next to you. And since he isn’t sure of the timing of the events he could have been in the grocery store with puke all over himself! He woke up the next morning and had to go to work, and his car had not been cleaned out, so he had to drive to work with all the windows rolled down.

We do not advocate driving after drinking at all but somehow the mad dog had made it seem ok. All in all, this is probably the craziest and funniest night any of us have ever lived.