"Yeah, Casper the muthaf**king ghost peed back there, not us. We're toilet peers, beeotch!

This is a story about the great Madam Bubka and her run-in with Richmond's finest. For your enjoyment I will first post what actually happened, then her recollection of the events as she posted in her live journal (while still intoxicated).

Let me begin with a brief background of my dear friend Susan: This is the girl who once bonged an entire 12 pack of Keystone in just under 3 hours. This is the girl who began chugging a beer, stopped, threw up, and finished the rest like a champ. She is the one, the only: Madame Bubka.

During the summer after my freshman year, the usual suspects were gathered at my boyfriend Ronny's apartment. By midnight we were smashed. Madam Bubka and Mitch were waiting out front for their DD. Mitch sees a cop pull up and takes off into the house. The fearless Madam Bubka, however, stands her ground, even though she is underage…and wasted.

The cop asks her if she was peeing outside behind the apartment. She says no. He says, "Well then who was it? Casper the ghost?"

To which she responds, "Yeah, Casper the mother-fucking ghost! We didn't pee outside! We're toilet pee-ers, bitch!" The cop asks her if she’s been drinking out back and she says no. He leads her to the backyard and points to a beer bong and at least a case of empty beer cans. All the while, Mitch and I are cowering in fear in an upstairs closet. The cops even knocked on the door trying to make us think it was Susan, but Mitch, a music major insisted the knock was off-beat and that Susan, who also plays the cello would never knock like that. Sneaky popo. Anyway, Susan failed a sobriety test, told the cop she was 21 and he let the DD take her home.

Here is what Madam B. had to say about the event:

a nite to remembe [Jun. 21st, 2004|01:09 am]
omy. my friend (Mitch) came to visit and we got drunk. we were out sie wainting for our DD and the cops cme by, and i said no bitch, nobody pissed outsied. They said you're ass in going to jail if you don't shut up/. it must have been caperst he friend ghost the [issed. I said it must be asper b/c (Mitch) nad i didn't pee out of the house. we are toilet pee'ers bithc. and they said you better get in our DD'S car or you're goin to jail. and i said no, we didn't pee outsiede. but i got in the car and shut up and came back to mcgregor and ate some corn and some cake and now i don't want ot go to bed until i'm sober. I bonged a few....and i told the popos that ihad a ouple drinks and they waved their finger inmy eye and i follwed it like they said, and i acted as sober as possibl. they didn't tell me if i pass or failed i just ran. i hope Mitch is not in jail. w;ll see i'll tell ya in a bit, latrmy love