I thought I could impress the babes--I was wrong

Not too long ago, we had a disco party at school. I am a huge disco fan, so I was really looking forward to the night. I always make sure to work "real hard on my hair" like John Travolta from Saturday Night Fever. I like to think of myself as Disco "burn baby burn" inferno - you know, after the song. I have to admit that the night of the disco, I was looking slicker than owl shit, ready to boogie oogie oogie till I just couldn't boogie no more. That's when it hit me. I was faced with an unfortunate reality-something that scares every male in the world:

I CAN'T DANCE!

I had a few dance moves that I could share with the crowd that night--namely the head jig, the can of coke holder, the jiggle your legs out of time to the song, and everyone's favorite: the trying to be cool (and failing) dance.

I thought I could impress the chicks, the babes--I was wrong.

The only people who were impressed were the scary feral teacher (you know who I'm talking about) and the mentally handicapped dumb arse.

To this day I am teased, abused and humiliated all because of that night. One day I hope to conquer my fear of the dance floor, but until then, my disco exploits will exist only in my mind.

May god have mercy on my soul.