It looked like he pulled out a big wad of yellow chew tobacco.

Spring Break...South Padre Island, Texas. What else but sun and surf, women and wine. And a little food to help absorb the alcohol and get you ready for another rendezvous with one's finer moments in life.

Late one night, after some serious carousing, revelry and general flirtatious activity, we men returned to our condo all having struck out with our woman of choice. Hey, tomorrow is another day.

Yet, to delay or better yet eradicate the inevitable headache brought on by excessive booze, food is known as the universally selected source of absorption thus easing the pain later brought to the body and head. Thus, after munching down on bags of Doritos, we all retired to own respective places of sleep and slumber.

Upon awakening and being the first to put on that fresh pot of coffee, I teasingly ran over and jumped on my sleeping bud who was on the couch. Startled and pissed, he moans, slowly opens his eyes and then a shocked, confused look of expression dominates his facial features. "What the hell is in your mouth," I loudly state.

With a much puzzled look on his face, he digs his index and forefinger into his mouth and pulls out a huge ball of partially digested Doritos chips. It looked like he pulled out a big wad of yellow chew tobacco. After throwing the wad of chips into the ashtray he moaned his way back to sleep.

Being too drunk to f*** is one thing but being to drunk to chew and swallow Doritos is another.