Lou awoke naked with dried candle wax all over his member

In Nigeria we call 1st year University students JAMBites. This term is culled from the Joint Admissions & Matriculations Board examination required to gain admission into any of the country’s universities.

In my JAMBite year in the University of Benin, having been not been initiated to the life of heavy drinking, I decided to fashion out a way of having fun since campus girls were never interested in hooking up with 1st year guys. So I decided to carve a niche for myself as a drinker.

So on my roommate, Manny’s 21st birthday, we had to excite ourselves a bit so we decided in having an all guys drinking fest. Only constraint was that my roomie didn’t have enough cash to spend on beers (which I must add are the most popular form of alcohol for most Nigerians). So we applied some economics and decided to do gin and rum instead. They were cheaper and would hit you quicker.

So we invite all our lonely friends that evening to a nearby shop that had a kind of sit-out facility. Gin, Rum and Sprite were served to all. Being amateurs we just gulped down several bottles in quick succession (mixed with Sprite it didn’t seem so harsh).

Next thing I know is that I see some of the invitees start smashing empty bottles against the wall. I don’t need to tell you that we had to be thrown out of the joint. One guy, Lou was so wasted he started beating the hell out of another friend of ours OV (he was the smallest in the group). Of course Lou had to pass out and that’s where the drama really begins. He was passed out so hard that we could not revive him and at one point, wet thought he was in a coma.

Being good buddies we had to give him a shower right there on our balcony (we kept praying that no girls saw this, it would have ended any hopes of he had of ever getting laid in that school).

We put him to bed, but lo and behold OV decided it was time he got his revenge. It was a rather cheap shot, but damn it we just let the little guy have his own pound of flesh. So this guy goes gets a candle and starts to... pour hot candle wax on Lou’s exposed member (oh! we didn’t dress him up after the bath). He was so far gone that Lou didn’t even budge.

The guy woke the next morning naked with candle wax on his thing, but rather than going crazy, he just quietly donned his clothes and disappeared. Till today he still asks us who the perpetrator was. But of course we maintain our code of silence…he got what he deserved.

As for me, I learnt the evils of gin and rum and I decided to wait my turn with the girls. The draught wasn’t going to last forever.