“Dude…can I borrow a rubber?” asked Oaty.

The four of us were in the living room of our new place playing a game of pool and talking about our goals for the new semester. The consensus was that we’d study harder and take college more seriously.

Then Oaty added, “...and get laid.”

“You mean you still haven’t got any?” I asked.

“Nope.” He said.

One night, later on that semester, we hosted a date party. Everybody had a blast. The kegs finally kicked and our guests filtered out. It was then that I noticed the sound system was still on. I told my date I’d meet her in my room in a few minutes and I headed down the steps to the party room to shut off the system.

When I hit the bottom step, I turned on the lights and I saw Oaty, bare-ass, on his knees with his date’s legs wrapped around his head. (She was lying back on the couch.)

“What the fuck are you doing?” he said.

“Sorry man, I didn’t see anything.” I said.

At that point, I turned the lights off and headed back upstairs. I went to my room and found my date waiting for me.

About two minutes later, I heard the system go silent. Then, I heard the basement door open followed by a knock on my door.

“Dude…can I borrow a rubber?” asked Oaty.

“I’ve only got one left, man.” I said.

“Come on man please,” he begged.

I gave him my last rubber.

When I woke up that afternoon, I asked Oaty how it went.

“I don’t know if I’ll be seeing her again,”he said.

“Why not?” I asked.

“Well, I went down on her in the basement,” he said. “Then I got the rubber from you.”

Next, they got into bed. They started kissing and making out. She started giving him a BJ. She wanted him, “inside her.” He fumbled for the borrowed rubber. He ripped open the wrapper. He figured out which way to put it on. He unrolled the rubber onto his Johnson.

And then he busted a nut.

At that that point, he told her that he had, “Changed his mind and he just wanted to go to sleep.”

She got dressed and stormed out.

“Does that count?” asked Oaty.

“Afraid not buddy,” I said.