“Can I get you a towel, Pam?”

I stumbled across your site, and thought, “after all these years do I relate my life forming college experience?” I have decided to relate my experience as it transformed me from a high school geek to a somewhat self confident, art education major.

I had graduated from high school in Augusta, GA in 1978, and decided I did not want to go to a big school or be far from home. I was not as self confident or independent as I wanted to be. During my freshman year this concept exploded in my face as my parents moved to Albuquerque, NM.

WTF!

So when I went home after my freshman year I did not know if I would return to Ga. Southern. I called this the summer of self doubt, when I discovered beer, pot and penises.

I went to visit one of my friends and she was not there but her Mom was. She invited me in, and introduced me to one of her friends that sold cars. He was in his mid-twenties and I later found out she was having an affair with him.

We drank a few beers too many, and my ability to say NO, was greatly circumvented. So they pulled out a weird looking instrument that they told me was a Bong. They then put what looked like green tobacco in the bowl and then lighted the green tobacco.

I then realized this was POT! Well when with friends why be, a drag, so I smoked up. This further clouded my ability to say NO! I was feeling really good and self confident and I became aware that my friend’s Mom’s “boyfriend,” was touching me a lot.

Since I was comfortably numb, I did not spurn his advances so the quick touches evolved in to longer feels in my erogenous areas. Well it felt good so I did not protest, and I was not really thinking this through, because I was allowing this in front of an audience consisting of my friend’s mother. When my friend’s mother went to the rest room, he took my hand and led me upstairs into a bedroom. All I could do was giggle.

As he started taking off my top, all I could do was laugh. Somehow this was all surreal to me thus making it hysterical. The surreal feel came about because I had never been naked or even topless in front of another guy, plus I had never seen a guy in the nude. I was, what was referred to as a “late bloomer,” I essentially had no boobs, and did not get my fur until I was a junior in high school. My only sexual experiences to this date had been asexual with myself, as in “rubbing one out.” But as he took of my top and kissed my flat chest I felt a very good sensation. At this juncture I was up for anything he wanted.

It has been so many years I cannot even remember his name. So as he unsnapped my pants, I just giggled hysterically. He then took off my shoes and pants really quickly. He gave me a wicked grin and then it was off with my panties. Woo-hoo, buck naked with a guy for the 1st time!

He then stripped quickly and I got my 1st look at a real penis! Now I know what all the slang meant by: hard-on, boner or stiffy. I must admit it was very intimidating knowing where he wanted to put it.

He gently put me on my back and I felt a push, and then a prick and a sting, and we were then rocking back and forth in rhythm horizontally. He then began saying some very vulgar things about what he was doing to me which deluded the event for me. I then became aware I had just lost my virginity as this fact escaped my drunk and drugged consciousness.

I then became jumpy when I had another voice from the doorway saying, “Can I get you a towel, Pam?” Apparently my friend’s mother had watched the seminal event in my sexual life. She made me feel even worse about the situation by stating with incredulity “that was not your 1st time was it?” I said in a very timid voice, “Um yeah it was.” They then both gave me looks I will never forget that exuded the feeling of, “oh, what an idiot you are!”

When I learned later she was having an affair with my knight of the deflowering, I began to wonder did they decide to set this up? Did they have a kinky streak and the capture of my virginity was the prize? Did I learn nothing from my 1st year of college?

Oh and it gets worse as my immaturity hoisted me upon my own petard. I thought it would be a good idea to go down where he worked and see if I could initiate a relationship.

Surely he must be interested in me if we had sex! Oh how could I have been so naïve and stupid. A year of college had not really made me wiser in the affairs of the world. He discounted my appearance at his work place and basically dismissed me with, “it was just sex, if I knew you were a virgin I would have left you alone, because that was a really unromantic way to lose your cherry.”

I thought, “Gee thanks, make me feel even better about the event!”

So I go home dispirited and waddle through the rest of my summer. About two weeks before I go back to Georgia Southern, from Albuquerque, my friend calls me and wants to talk about her Mom. She tells me her Father is divorcing, her mother because she had an affair. And it was not the 1st time. She tells me it is even worse because her mother had people over one time to have sex with her boyfriend.

“Oh Shit!” I thought to myself, if she ever figures out, it is me, she will tell everyone including my Mom and Dad. So at this point going back to Georgia Southern seems like a capital idea. Eventually, everyone did find out, but since I was 1700 miles away the fallout towards me was diluted.

Those summers after your freshman year can be Hell, albeit educational in the ways of the world. Later I will relate some of Pam’s more fun art education experiences at Georgia Southern.