Later in life I learned not to bang broads where you work, d'oh!

When I first got to NCSU, I couldn’t get a dorm room, so I rented a 3-bedroom apartment with 2 other guys in the same situation. Nor could I find any sort of decent part-time job. Except, oh joy, delivering pizza...

At the time, my only means of transportation was a Kawasaki motorcycle. Late one slow night, I was at the pizza parlor, and the only other person working was this fat chick. She had a pretty face, but was in the 200+ lb range. It was a weeknight, and no one was ordering any pizza, so about 11:00 the chick went across the street to a convenience store and got a 6-pack. She gave me a can, and we started drinking.

In a short while, she went and got another sixer. Well, we closed the pizza joint cause it was time, and got some more beer. We drank it in the parking lot. I really wasn’t thinking this girl had any intentions, because I had maybe spoken five sentences to her in the time I had been working there. Stuff like “pass the pepperoni.”

Anyways, we just sat & drank under a tree, and before I noticed, we had finished a case in about 2 hours. So she says, “why don’t we go to your place?” Being drunk, and perpetually horny, I thought 'why not?' Note: As I got older, I learned the maxim “don’t shit where you eat” -aka- “don’t bang broads you work with,” But at 18 I thought more with the little head.

We climb on my motorcycle, and take off. I'm half drunk, and have an additional 200 lbs on the back. Uh, Can you say 'wheelie'? I seriously did get the front wheel off the ground several times taking off from stoplights. Not to mention, when we crossed some of the railroad tracks around NCSU, the back tire scrubbed into the fender, and it wailed and blue smoke came out...So, I take her back to the apartment, have drunken sex with her, then pass out. Some time during the early morning one of the guys I lived with must have looked into my room, and saw this fat chick in bed with me.

Without this knowledge, I woke up, and decided I needed her gone quick, before one of the guys saw she outweighed me. I got her up, dressed, and was steering her out the room's door, and there sat my roomies on the couch...BIG shit-eating grins on their faces.

Busted!

Not to mention, at the pizza parlor, she started hanging all over me in front of other people. It took two days before I sought work elsewhere because I couldn’t stand up to the constant giggling and commentary from my co-workers. Hey, it only took me a decade more to learn sometimes nookie isn’t worth it! Who says ya don’t learn anything by going to college!