But Bear Grylls and the gods of karma would not be denied...

The names have been changed to protect… well to protect no one!

I stirred a little. “Wake up” said J-Dee as he kicked my feet.

I shrugged off the blanket and got up off the floor of Doo-Doo’s apartment. I looked at my watch. It was 7:51am… WTF.

I had gone to sleep a mere 4 hours ago, and as the early morning sunlight filtered into Doo-Doo’s pad it was all too clear that I was hungover in a bad way. It probably had something to do with the night before, in which much drinking had taken place. Most of it was at Maxfield’s, considered by some to be the “classy” bar of Potsdam. Most of my drinking was just a lot of beer, which is no big deal.

But mixed in there someone had the brilliant idea to buy shots… shots of tequila. I vaguely remember those shots going down with all the smoothness of a violent 8-year old with ADHD throwing a massive temper tantrum. My head kept pounding like a drum, letting me know that beer intermingled with shots is, of course, a bad idea.

As I pondered how much I’d rather have an anal evacuation than to take shots of cheap tequila, DJ, Joey Jersey, and J-Dee said that it was time to get breakfast. We tried to get Doo-Doo up but he needed his required 10 hours of beauty rest and despite our best efforts merely groaned and stirred in his bed. We left him and went to Caroline’s for some greasy eggs and whatever else would satisfy our famished bodies.

Everyone finished their food off but it was apparent that we were still hungover, and the best cure for a hangover was of course more to drink. So we journeyed over to Eben’s for big beers (a 40 oz glass of beer). As we sat with some cartoon playing on Fox’s Saturday morning cartoon lineup, we racked our brains for a way to enjoy the day. Joey Jersey and DJ mentioned something about fishing, and as Seabiscuit joined us for a big beer all 5 of us agreed that fishing would be a good game plan.

So we finished our beers, everyone feeling much better. We went back to Doo-Doo’s and got his lazy ass up, finally. Then it was over to Hackett’s for the 6 of us to buy fishing line, lures, and hooks. Doo-Doo, being the crazy random guy he was, came up with the idea that whoever caught the first fish had to bite into it Bear Grylls-style (meaning raw for those of you not familiar with Man vs. Wild) and rip a chunk out of it.

Mostly everyone else didn’t think that was such a good idea but Doo-Doo was cocky and we gave in, grudgingly accepting his challenge. With our fishing gear and two 30 racks of Busch Lite in tow (only the finest for us) we made our ghetto fishing poles using our acquired items and a long stick scrounged up from the woods.


We set up shop on the Raquette (as in, tennis racket) River and it was on. In all honesty, no one really expected to catch anything, especially with J-Dee standing in the water. J-Dee was drunk by this point and took off his shorts, putting them on his head and standing in the water in just his t-shirt and boxers. The water was surprisingly warm though, even for August in Potsdam (which if you’ve lived up here, you know the weather can drop to levels of cold that make you think you’re going to school in Siberia).


To re-iterate, no one thought we were going to catch anything. But... our bait was good, the fish were biting, and Bear Grylls and the gods of karma realized Doo-Doo was being too cocky for his own good. Seabiscuit may have been the resident outdoors expert of the group and everyone was getting bites but it was Doo-Doo who, much to his dismay, reeled in the first fish.


He clearly didn't expect to catch the first fish and was clearly apprehensive about biting into it. I’d be apprehensive too about biting into a smelly little sunfish coming from the Raquette River. Doo-Doo played off putting it back into the water to clean it up a bit… yeah right. Next thing you knew, the fish broke free and swam away from its imminent doom with Doo-Doo’s mouth. WEAK!


Everyone was disappointed, and lines were again cast into the river. But Bear Grylls and the gods of karma would not be denied, and it was not five minutes later that Doo-Doo again reeled in a fish, one that looked identical to his earlier catch.


This time, no one was going to let him off the hook (no pun intended). Everyone knew that this fish wasn’t going to be allowed to escape, so Scotty Montana and I found a big rock. I let fly with the rock right onto the fish, and it was a goner. Doo-Doo had no choice now but to make good on his bet and bite into it. He stalled for a bit… we called him a pussy for trying to go back on it.


Finally Doo-Doo relented and bit into the fish, hitting mostly bone but taking out a chunk of it which would appease Bear Grylls and which made everyone laugh hysterically… mostly at Doo-Doo for being so cocky.


More drinking commenced and a trip to The Lounge also took place. Now if you go to school in Potsdam, are not a Mormon, and you’ve never been to The Lounge, then you haven’t really experienced all that Potsdam has to offer.



All in all, it was a great day to spend the summer in Potsdam. The moral of this story would be, like any small college town Potsdam may not seem to have a lot to offer. But with good friends and your imagination, any day can be a great one. And some choice beverages don’t hurt, either.