When we heard wood (and concrete) being broken, we wondered if had gone too far

Baylor, like any college campus, has its share of booze, pranks, and the like. During my freshman year, we decided to pave our own way to early greatness. I lived on-campus with a large majority of the football team. We had a diverse group of people on my hall and our wing soon became known as "The Place To Be."

There was one wing mate, Matty from Wisconsin, that started on day one building a beer can pyramid on one of the walls of his dorm room. Pretty impressive, if I do say so myself! This act in itself broke every dorm room rule that you could imagine and the guy building it was a wild child boy with a temper (much of which was steroid induced).

Upon returning from a trip back home one weekend, my roommate (Tank) and I found two letters from the Dean of Students advising us that on a random room search he had found “remnants” of alcoholic beverages in our room. What? Us? Nevertheless, he invited us to see him bright and early Monday morning. We obliged.

Monday morning at 8:00 am, while still hung-over from the previous night, we trudged into the Dean’s office. I won’t lie; I was scared out of my mind, but managed to play it cool, while Tank was altogether composed. The Dean seated us and commenced to chewing us out for breaking the Code of Conduct on so many levels. However, in the midst of our talk, he was paged to another office, so we waited patiently.

In the meantime, Tank noticed a stack of University letterhead, along with a nice stack of matching envelopes. The next thing I knew, he was stuffing them under his shirt! I had no idea why, nor did I care… I wasn’t going to be linked to any of that shit! The Dean returned and sentenced us to gobs of community service to repay our debt. We returned to our dorm room to sulk and drink more beer.

The suddenly… a brilliant idea! We took the letterhead and crafted a nice letter addressed to “Matty” that went something like this:

“We have recently been informed that you have continually ignored the policies and procedures concerning alcoholic beverages on the campus of Baylor University. Furthermore, upon investigation, we found a vile of a substance consisting of Anabolic Steroids. This kind of behavior does not represent the quality student population of the university. You are hereby given four days to vacate the premises…”

We sealed the letter in the matching envelope and slid it under his door. We waited with the door cracked until he got back from class. Tank was already on the floor trying to contain laughter when we heard screaming, cussing, bottles breaking, wood hitting the parking lot from three stories up… wood? Concrete?

Oh shit, had we gone too far?

We ran to his room and sure enough, he was destroying his desk, chairs, and his own crap and tossing it out the window! We knew we were in deep shit, both with him and with the school! What did we do…?

Well, we turned around and went to class, never to mention what had happened to ANYONE, until now! “Matty” got dismissed from school after all, but not for drinking or drugs… for destruction of school property. Come to think of it, it was pretty shitty, but it was better than anything we could have asked for!