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Rape Victim Speaks Out
Posted:03/14/2006
Views: 26,217
Grade: B
Comments 22
I am writing this because I read the story “The Night I was Raped” and I just felt like I needed to get this off my chest.
All of my life I have been the victim of sexual abuse. It started when I was seven. My step sister molested me. I was a little kid and I did not tell her “no.” I honestly didn’t even know what was going on. I never told anyone about it. Later in life, I came to realize that what she did was wrong but I was too embarrassed to tell anyone. Jumping forward three years, my divorced mom had a new boyfriend. Well, he molested me too.
But this time around I told him that I knew it was wrong, and that I wanted him to stop. He continued to molest me until I was fourteen. That’s how old I was when my mom’s boyfriend raped me.
I didn’t feel like I could tell my mom because I knew it would tear her to pieces. Shortly after that, my mom broke up with him because he hit my sister. I never saw him again. I thought that I would be fine and everything would pass. Now I am nineteen and I have never been able to get over it. It was not until two weeks ago that I went on my first date.
A friend of mine fixed me up with this guy. So he picked me up from my house. We were supposed to go to a movie but we never made it there. He drove to the lake and started to kiss me. So I told him I was not going to do anything with him and if that is what he thought, he could take me home. Well he got angry and climbed over on top of me. He forced me to have sex with him. I cried and begged him to stop. I tried to open the car door but it would not open and it was not even locked. When he finished, he said he was taking me home. But yet again, that is not where we went.
He parked the car in some garage and called someone and told them to come outside. Then he told me to get in the back. I could not open the door so he got out and opened it for me. I tried to run but he pushed me into the back seat. This door would not open either. His friend got in the back seat with me. He hit me and had sex with me too. He hurt me more than the first guy.
After a life of sexual abuse, I don’t think I will ever be ok. But hearing other peoples’ stories made me want to say that the biggest mistake anyone can make is not telling anyone. Everyone always says that it is never the victim’s fault but I think that it is my fault because it happened so many times I must have been asking for it. I try everyday to hold on, but it is getting harder and harder.
To all the victims out there, don’t make the same mistake I have made many times. Tell your story and don’t let yourself be dragged down your whole life because of something you had no control over, like I have done. It will ruin your life and you are just giving the perpetrator more power. I know that I have and I regret it. That is why I am speaking out now.
I am taking my power back.
If the people who hurt me throughout my life are reading this, I hope you realize that you have hurt me and that one day someone will hurt you just as bad if not worse. I pray to God that you never have the chance to hurt anyone else because of me keeping my mouth shut.
All of my life I have been the victim of sexual abuse. It started when I was seven. My step sister molested me. I was a little kid and I did not tell her “no.” I honestly didn’t even know what was going on. I never told anyone about it. Later in life, I came to realize that what she did was wrong but I was too embarrassed to tell anyone. Jumping forward three years, my divorced mom had a new boyfriend. Well, he molested me too.
But this time around I told him that I knew it was wrong, and that I wanted him to stop. He continued to molest me until I was fourteen. That’s how old I was when my mom’s boyfriend raped me.
I didn’t feel like I could tell my mom because I knew it would tear her to pieces. Shortly after that, my mom broke up with him because he hit my sister. I never saw him again. I thought that I would be fine and everything would pass. Now I am nineteen and I have never been able to get over it. It was not until two weeks ago that I went on my first date.
A friend of mine fixed me up with this guy. So he picked me up from my house. We were supposed to go to a movie but we never made it there. He drove to the lake and started to kiss me. So I told him I was not going to do anything with him and if that is what he thought, he could take me home. Well he got angry and climbed over on top of me. He forced me to have sex with him. I cried and begged him to stop. I tried to open the car door but it would not open and it was not even locked. When he finished, he said he was taking me home. But yet again, that is not where we went.
He parked the car in some garage and called someone and told them to come outside. Then he told me to get in the back. I could not open the door so he got out and opened it for me. I tried to run but he pushed me into the back seat. This door would not open either. His friend got in the back seat with me. He hit me and had sex with me too. He hurt me more than the first guy.
After a life of sexual abuse, I don’t think I will ever be ok. But hearing other peoples’ stories made me want to say that the biggest mistake anyone can make is not telling anyone. Everyone always says that it is never the victim’s fault but I think that it is my fault because it happened so many times I must have been asking for it. I try everyday to hold on, but it is getting harder and harder.
To all the victims out there, don’t make the same mistake I have made many times. Tell your story and don’t let yourself be dragged down your whole life because of something you had no control over, like I have done. It will ruin your life and you are just giving the perpetrator more power. I know that I have and I regret it. That is why I am speaking out now.
I am taking my power back.
If the people who hurt me throughout my life are reading this, I hope you realize that you have hurt me and that one day someone will hurt you just as bad if not worse. I pray to God that you never have the chance to hurt anyone else because of me keeping my mouth shut.
- Oakton Community College
Editors Note:
Thanks for speaking out. You ARE taking your power back. We've got to fight together to stop rape.
Comments
JP, you're an asshole. Really you're the hole in the ass where shit comes out from. Best of all, which ever hole you open, including your bloody mouth, shit comes out of it! Ocean Eyes, a. Your mother is retarded. No one asks to be raped and its not your fault. b. Speaking up is important and I'm glad you're doing that. c. Its not easy to go the cops because most of the times victims feels they're being raped again when they have to tell their stories in detail and be questioned to make the stupid cops understand the situation. I would add that if you really wish to fight, there is a way, you just need the will. My ex-girlfriend was in similar situation where the guy who raped her was walking free. When I met her, she was 24, and she was raped when was 17. We got the evidence by confronting him, she was wearing a wire and told him she was under therapy and she needs closure. He spoke out the whole thing on the wire and said sorry because he was just feeling horny and couldn't stop. We took the evidence along with a video and some footage of their meeting to the cops. Anyway he is now in jail, the case never went to trial. Bottom line is, where there is a will there is a way. p.s. I can help if you ever find the courage.
Dont belive and trust anyone till your heart tells you... Keep yourself strong...
in my life i have experienced molestation and abuse from the time i was 4 until i was 9 i told my mom but she never believed me and it only got worse from there... i told someone the only person i could and nothing was done to help. i always tell my fiance' now that im okay and im over it but he knows just as well as i do that im not it always inspires me to know that there are people out there who can talk about it ITS WRONG!!!!! I HOPE THAT THOSE WHO HAVE HURT YOU GET A DOSE OF KARMA!!!! there were a total of three guys in those 5 years. thank you for your story
Hey JP, guess what? oyu're a fucking asshole who is almost as bad as those rapists! Why on Earth would anyone choose to be raped? No one would ever choose that! And don't call people who where raped weak because if you're calling them weak, then ur just a huge pile of useless, pathetic dog shit! Ocean Eyes, you're not weak because those men overpowered you and forced you to have sex with them. Also those men, karma will catch up with them in the worst possible way. Maybe one of them will "accidently" get his dick cut off if he is raping someone again. Stay Strong!
"Ocean Eyes", you are a very strong person, just knowing after your step father did what he did and you went out and tried to have a normal life with a man, that means alot, that shows that you are strong, and that you didnt completely give up on the world or men. And dont listen to that ass hole jp, he/shes not strong at all because he/she turned into a cold harded bitch that thinks there some fucking super hero, knowing in reality that he/she is scared out of there mind and is mad because you can tell your story and they cant. tell the haters to keep hate'n because knowing that they thinking about you that much means you are some body to someone even if they words they speak is negitive, thats how you can tell that inside there hurtin and wanting to be like you. STRONG!!!! keep it up girl you got the POWER!!!!!
Omg. I feel terrible. You really shouldnt have to go through that. girls are almost just used as a item just to turn guys on, like seriously. If they have to force someone to have sex with them, they obviously cant get a g-f. and cant get none. Your really strong and your story really touched me. if you dont mind im gonna use it for my report. :)
forgive me for not being strong enough at the time. you must not understand how something like this would make someone feel. now that i am strong enough it is too late and that is something i will have to live with. but the only thing that matters is that i am strong enough to overcome it.
You don't have to prove yourself to anyone Ocean Eyes, least of all strangers online. You can trust people you just have to learn how to do it the smart way. Please talk to a counselor experienced in treating sexual assault victims. Don't let the criminals win by not enjoying your own life and closing yourself off to experiences that you can enjoy. Little by little you'll be able to trust, and date again. However, I would start by getting to know people of both sexes and making friends first. Good luck. You are in my thoughts.
A weak person could talk endlessly about it....A strong person would do something!!!!!!!!!!!!
i tried to but by the time i was able to talk about it it was too late. i finally told my family and my mother first said that i was lyng then she said that i deserved it. i feel like i should have just kept my mouth shut because when i did not tell anyone they still liked me and did not treat me like shit. the only reason i even posted my story here is because i did not know what else to do. dont worry i will break the chain. i know now that i cant trust anyone not even my family and i should not even try. i made a promise to myself not to date anyone ever again. and for your information i am not weak. a weak person would have never said anything about it.
I don't blame you.....I JUST THINK YOU'RE WEAK....DID YOU EVER FILE A POLICE REPORT??? BRING CHARGES AGAINST THESE GUYS???
thanks for standing up for me MARI its good to know that atleast someone is on my side and does not blame me.
Please quote where she said that she was uncomfortable with him. She didn't have time to be uncomfortable with him. He just attacked her. She also never asked anyone to feel sorry for her. She was sharing her story like everyone else here. I don't know why you have such a violent reaction to her story or my response to you. I never said that you were an 'unfeeling prick.' I am sorry that you were attacked, but that doesn't give you the right to accuse someone of asking to be raped. I was raped myself (more than once) and don't have any unresolved guilt about it. The only person who should feel guilty is the rapist. I apologize for implying that you were a rapist or an imbecile, but remember, you started this when you attacked her character. God Bless.
Give me a break......She says in her story repeatedly she was uncomfortable w/ this guy....Sooooo, with her history, WHY did she fucking stay there??? Me a RAPIST? NOPE HARDLY...I was a victim once years ago....Although not my fault, I recognized my choices put me in a dangerous situation where I was victimized...ONCE!!!!!! Never again, becuz I changed my behaviour and refused to EVER be a VICTIM AGAIN!!!!! SO DON'T BITCH AT ME FOR BEING AN UNFEELING PRICK, BECUZ I HAVE BEEN THERE......SO FUCK YOU!!!!
Why in God's name would anyone "choose" that? If you really believe that then you must be either a rapist yourself or a complete imbecile. What exactly did she do to cause this jackass to attack her?
You had doubts about the guy and still went out with him....Why should I feel sorry for you??? I feel bad that you were victimized as a minor but youu chose to continue the victimization as an adult....You made the choices even with the warning signals there....BREAK THE DAMN CHAIN!!!!!!!!!
JP u r an ass. I said that the mistake I made was not telling. Oakton is in Skokie. I tried to leave but like I said I could not. I think you need to wise up beause trying to make someone feel worse about their problems is not only wrong but makes you an evil person
Grow a pair.....What Lake? Oakton Comm. is in Des Plaines, IL, there's a river but no lake...Unless you mean Lake Michigan, were you going to the movies down town? All you had to do was walk out...You say it yourself you made the same mistake more than once.....WISE UP
I can't stand asshole guys that do that to girls. I know of a few friends who were raped/molested/gotten used when they were drunk and unaware of what was really going on. And yes, those guys can and WILL get what they deserve...maybe some fugly chick(or better yet, a guy!) will take advantage of them one day. I've seen it happen before. It's kinda like the Sublime song "Date Rape"...the guy rapes a girl, gets sentenced to prison for it, and then karma comes around to fuck him in the ass(pun intended)..."They locked him up and threw away the key./ Well, I cant take pity on men of his kind,/ Even though he now takes it in the behind." And you are right, about how people in these situations have to voice their experiences...they have to realize that no one is going to shun them for simply stating their mind, and that they didn't do anything wrong.
Thats so wrong... You are strong and people like that need serious help keep strong
your story touched me and must've touched my boyfriend too because he sent this story to me. i, unlike you, don't have the courage to speak out. i commend you because i know it's hard to share your story. thank you. there are so many young girls out there who need a voice because they're so afraid to use their own. i hope you can begin to heal. i hope that one day i will be able to as well.
I know your pain, I've been there, too