The next thing you know he was flat on his back with this huge growling dog on top of him.

Last year my 21-year-old son Todd and his friends went to the Bahamas for spring break. It was not required that he have a passport, but a birth certificate was necessary.

Knowing my son as I do, there was no way I was going to let him take the original, so off he went with a certified copy and a suitcase full of beer!

He spent the next week drinking and gambling and drinking some more. Pretty much all the crazy things spring breakers do. His last night on the Island, Thomas stayed up all night drinking. As usual, he had not packed or prepared in any way.

He just went up to his room at the last minute and threw everything into his suitcase. But he could not find his birth certificate, and he only had 1 hour to get to the boat.

Thodd spoke with the manager of the hotel and pretty much found out that he was screwed! They had told him he would have to stay on the island until I could send him his birth certificate. But he decided to go on ahead to the boat with his friends. He had his college ID and his drivers license so he didn’t see what the big deal was! He was soon to find out!

Needless to say, when Todd walked into the customs terminal he was a pretty unsavory looking character! He was really feeling the effects of his weeklong liquid diet and lack of sleep. He hadn’t shaved in a week, and he was still drunk from the night before. He had on a shirt with no buttons, cargo shorts, and he had lost his shoes, so he was barefoot!

As Todd was walking by a customs agent with a very large dog, the agent said, “DON’T pet the dog.” But in the condition Todd was in, he thought the agent had said, ”PET the dog.”

So he did. The next thing you know he was flat on his back with this huge growling dog on top of him.

This incident combined with his appearance and his lack of a birth certificate was enough for the customs agents to hold the boat and take Todd in the back for questioning. His friends were all on the boat wondering what in the hell was going on!

They searched him and his belongings, (thankfully the beer was gone by then) and put him through an interrogation. Finally they allowed him to place a phone call.

I was awakened from a deep sleep at 6:30 in the morning by a frantic phone call from my son.

This is what I heard:

“Mom I need you to fax me a copy of my birth certificate right now! If you don’t, they’re going to keep me here!”

I spoke with the customs agent, faxed him the copy, and my son was allowed to get on the boat.

It’s a good thing I had insisted on keeping the original or he would have really been screwed!

Oh yes, after all of that he ended up forgetting his luggage in the customs office!