She needs some help...

This page is not to knock down sororities nor stir up trouble. I truly need help in making an important college life decision.

This all comes from a first-hand experience of a great sorority, at a great Cal State school.

I joined the sorority in question as a freshman, and went through the several day-long process of formal rush. It was great to meet all the different sororities on campus, all with a different mold and different goals. Before I got to college, I swore I'd never join a sorority, thinking the typical stereotypes of them were most definitely true. But at my school, the greek system was incredibly strong and for some reason became very attractive to me. I remember feeling really awkward in front of all these different sororities that I didn't know, and almost thinking the cheerleader-esque atmosphere of each rush room to be ridiculous.

At the time, I felt that Sorority X was the best choice for me. They all seemed nice, intelligent, and very beautiful. After being chosen by them after pref. night, and choosing them, I was in. It was an exciting, yet confusing day when I received my bid. While it seemed as though sororities were in competition for the rushees, as soon as we received our bids, it was as if the sisters didn't care anymore. I began to wonder if they really cared about the new pledges or if they were simply shooting for high numbers.

During the rest of that year, I was active in the sorority, attending required events such as meetings and a few optional ones like the formals. I still had school as my top priority and I had also met a guy from my dorms who I began dating. I didn't want to let the sorority take over my life so I chose my events carefully. There were a select few girls who became very disappointed in my missing events. Some were more vocal about it than others, but it started to become quite uncomfortable and I began to feel pressured into attending things I didn't want to. Not to mention the money that went into all these events (aside from the high dues!). 

When ending that school year, I received lots of complaints from the chapter on how absent I began to be in spring semester. I had a few close friends in the sorority who I hung out with on my own time without complaints, but apparently that was not good enough for the rest of the members. So I decided at the end of Spring Semester that I would take some time off. I am a pre-med biology major and I am incredibly stressed out over academics. My guy supported me with this decision (he knew the time it took to be in the greek system), as did my four close friends in Sorority X. I received tons of negativity from the chapter when I decided to do this, but nonetheless I was still a part of the chapter, just less involved. 

Their true colors came out during all of this, and it was very upsetting to me. Each time I would attempt to hang out with them, I would be rejected and told to leave, as I was an "unofficial member." Were these girls really my friends? I didn't understand. I felt that regardless of my title, I should at least be able to acknowledge that they were my friends. I began to wonder if these were shallow people who rejected outsiders. 

I began to reflect on girls I had seen either de-pledge or de-activate during my first year, and it all became clear. Those girls ended up being thrown out of the lives of any of the friends they made while in the sorority. It was as if they were not friends anymore since they were no longer a part of Sorority X. Was this why the sisters were being so cold to me? Of course the close friends of mine made an effort to talk to me (on occasion), but I felt like such an outsider.

Currently, I have gone through my first eight weeks of this cold treatment, with the semester half finished. When this term ends, I am supposed to go back to being an official member. My question to the readers is this: is it really worth it to go back to people who treated me this way when I was not a full time member? I really had a good time with these girls my first year, but being away has shown my sides of all of them that I never thought I'd see. Please respond if you happen to view this, whether you're in a sorority or not. I really need some genuine advice. 

If you'd like to provide some advice, please visit the original posting of this story.