She jumps in your car asking for a ride

How can you ACCIDENTALLY pick up a prostitute? Actually, it's easier than it might seem…at least it was for me.

First you get really trashed at a party. Then you get a phone call from a girl with whom you had become increasingly friendly during the last week. Said girl invites you over to her friend’s house for some late-night post-party drinking and festivities. Because you have never been to this house, and because you are drunk off your ass, you get lost and end up several miles away from your destination in a less-than-appealing part of town.

While you are driving around in circles trying to figure out where the hell you are, you see a woman standing on the side of the road and waving at you. Thinking she must be in some trouble, but still suspicious, you check the mag-light under your seat and slow down. She jumps in your car and says, “thanks for the ride.” You ask her where she needs to go and she just points ahead and says “over there.”

You start driving in that direction. She immediately turns to you and says, “so you wanna party or what?” It takes a moment for the meaning of this question to make its way through your alcohol-soaked mind.

Then you realize that you just picked up a hooker. A little voice in your head (the one in your pants) tries to convince you to take advantage of the situation. Fortunately, a much bigger voice in your head (the one on your shoulders) screams at you to get this prostitute out of your car, ASAP.

You explain politely that you do not have any money and that you thought she needed a ride. She looks at you like you are a complete moron. You grin back sheepishly. Then she heaves a sigh of disgust and tells you to pull over. You let her out about 5 blocks from where you picked her up. The whole episode prompts you to swallow your pride, call your lady friend and admit to her that you are hopelessly lost in the labyrinth of ghetto that makes up much of greater Waco. She laughs at you, has you get a street address so that she can use Mapquest to plot a course for you to get out of the ‘hood.

You arrive at her friend’s house and, against your better judgment, share your experience involving the prostitute. She laughs at you and gives you a hard time saying, “you just wanted to get some from the whore.” You aren’t sure how to respond to that so you keep your mouth shut and start playing drinking games. Later in the night, when the festivities have died down, she turns to you and whispers “you won’t be needing any hookers tonight...”

Then you go back to your house where she makes good on her subtle promise.