I looked like Glen Danzig on the cover of an old Samhain album

Apparently there are a couple of listings from former football players at Virginia Tech.

I to played at that wonderful institute if higher learning before failing out due to my love of drinking and picking up road whores from a bar that at the time was called Arnolds.

One night in particular I picked up an astonishing young woman who at the time, I thought was the best looking girl in town. I took her back to Cochran Hall and we ravenged one another all night long.

Thank god my roomate was gone because his bed was the top bunk and he weighed 300 plus pounds. This night I decided to eat ass and any other hole this girl had on the menu, and to this day I fondly remember the unique taste of crap.

Upon waking up I looked at this girl who much to my alarm was covered in blood. I was covered in blood and I thought she was dead. Fortunately she woke when I screamed but unfortunately she looked like an upright pig having just been slaughteres.

Then someone knocks on my door. It was my roommate's mom dropping off our papers that were due for our english class. When I opened the door she screamed and I took the papers and said, "Thank you."

She asked if everything was okay and I said "Yes," and "Goodbye." I also caught a glipse of my face in the mirror.

I was covered in blood, I looked like Glen Danzig on the cover of an old Samhain album, and to make matters worse I had diarrhea on my face...nasty whore crapped on my face.

What had happened to cause the blood was that during the slamming my mattress slid over off of the wall and I cut my knee open on the box springs and after scorning her for lack of bowel control I ushered her out the door swearing never to bang her again.

Needless to say two weeks later it was me and the upright pig, again, railing away in the wee hours of the morning.

This time though my roomate was not out of town but at least he was not home at the time...or so I thought.

After unloading my dna on her back she rolled her ass off the bed to go "clean up", give me a break, two weeks before this girl crapped on me now she says she wants to "clean" herself up.

Anyway, she waddles to the door and screams, "Oh my god, your roomate is over here in the corner jacking off!" Mark apparently did the low crawl in the room upon realizing what was going on when he arrived. Maark screams "Shut up bitch, I aint jacking off!"

I start cracking up and he turns on the light and screams, "You're too ugly to jack off to bitch now you gotta go" she says to her defence, "I'm with Pete".

I looked at her, looked at Mark, then jumped out of bed and grabbed her by the arm and screamed, "You gotta go" and threw her out of the room.

To this day I dont know if Mark was jerking off or not, dont really care. I also know that she was now the last fat pig I poked and surely not the last girl to crap all over me!