If I ever see her again, it will be too soon.

Everyone has their experiences with the psycho man or woman. This is my story.

It was a Sunday evening and I made my way towards the TV lounge for my nightly Simpsons fill. I entered the lounge, and recognized most of the people there. In fact, I recognized all but one (gee, can we guess where this is going?) She had short, red hair, and a great smile. I introduced myself, and Leigh introduced herself to me. An innocent exchange of intros, nothing more. We all sat and watched Simpsons and Malcolm in the Middle. I left during X-Files, and came back when it was over, at about 10 pm. She, and everyone else, was still there. I sat down, and I must have triggered a switch in the seat or something, because she started coming on to me, hard! Throwing her arms around me, nuzzling me. I was surprised, but I am a total sucker for an aggressive girl. Suffice to say, within 3 hours of meeting this girl, we were back in my room, making out. She left at around 11:30 that night.

The next day, I received an E-mail from her, asking if I'd like to come visit her that evening. I said sure, and that evening, made the trek across campus to her dorm. I knocked at her door, opened it and GOOD GOD, she was in nothing but a towel!

"Oh, I was about to go take a shower; I was expecting you to call before you came over," she said. I apologized, and then:

"I got something for you." She pointed to her dresser. It was a white rose.

"I'll be back in about 10 minutes," she said, and she grabbed her soap and shampoo, and left.

Well, I had never received a rose from a girl before, so I immediately started flipping out! Does this mean she wants to marry me? Be my girlfriend? Does she want to have sex? (Yeah, it's embarrassing, but it's true) I called my older sister, and she calmed me down. I talked to her until Leigh came back. I hung up, she got dressed (with my eyes averted). Then she lit a few candles to set a romantic mood. The rest of the night was basically full of massages, cuddling, making out, etc. All very tame stuff; however, during the night, she said what I knew would end up being the end of any possibilities:

"I'm willing to do anything to make this relationship work."

HA! She was nice, and I enjoyed the physical stuff, but a relationship? No chance, especially after a remark like that! She came over to visit a few more times during that week, but the physical stuff ended, and by the end of the week, I decided to call off this pseudo-relationship. After attending a concert together, we went to a local restaurant, and I broke the news.

She was hurt, very hurt. Apparently, she truly felt like this might have been something. I didn't feel anything for her other than as a friend.

After a grieving period of a few days, she seemed comfortable with us just being friends. She even came over to visit "as a friend," a few times.

Now, you've gotta understand that I (like most college guys), am a big, dumb male. I missed the physical stuff, and she was more than willing to give it to me. So, during one visit, I made the bone-headed mistake of suggesting the whole "friends with privileges" thing. She loved it, as it gave her new hope for us. Unfortunately, only a few hours passed until I realized what a stupid decision I had made, and I immediately E-mailed her (I was too chicken to call her) and called that off. Her response, which I'll never forget:

"You're the only one who has brought my hopes up and then crushed my heart all in the course of 6 hours."

Ouch.

We didn't talk for many weeks after that.

Up 'till this point, the story has been pretty standard. Here comes the rub:

It was Sunday night again, about 5 weeks after we had first met. I was going downstairs for a Hall Council meeting, when I heard someone calling me from upstairs. I stopped, and Leigh appeared, running down the stairs, saying she had something to tell me. She looked me in the eyes and said, with a huge smile on her face:

"I'm getting married!"

WHAT?

I immediately pulled her aside, to ask her what the hell was going on. Apparently she had met some guy on AOL (HA!), they had talked for a while online, met in person, and a few days prior to her telling me this, the two of them had been walking through the mall, and he asked Leigh if she knew her ring size. They got it measured, and the next day, he popped the question.

I was totally flabbergasted, but I congratulated her.

And then, oh god, and then, she said..

"Yeah, it's great, but..."

A "but?" I knew it was gonna be one of those but's with the power to destroy a small village.

I hesitantly replied, "but, what?"

"But...in the back of my mind, there's you."

AHHHHHHHHHH! Fuck! No! Fuck!

By now, people were yelling at me to get to Hall Council. So I had to leave before I could say exactly what I felt had to be said.

I saw her one more time, at Drag Ball. We made a very shaky peace, me in my blue summer dress and straw hat, her in a tight, leather dress, dog collar, and red fishnets. She said she loved this guy, and that, once the school year was over, she was transferring schools so she could go to school with him, and live closer to him and his family.

As a sidenote: early in our "relationship," she had told me her mother had quit college to marry. And that she would never do anything so stupid…Right!

I have not seen her since, (thank goodness).

If I ever see her again, it will be too soon.