Most people are probably like me, and thought it was truly unattainable

Have you ever heard your buddies trading sick twisted scenarios about what you can do to degrade a girl (or participated in said conversations)? A blumpkin is when you get a girl to go down on you while you sit on the toilet. How you convince her to be there in the first place, is a feat in itself, so congrats! But then while she is down there, you pinch off a loaf and complete the blumpin.

I thought a blumpkin was just something people talk about, but never do—kinda like the unattainably theoretical “friends with privileges.”

My buddy came in my room where my two other friends and I were drinking. This dude was proudly proclaiming how he was having this girl come over. We in turn told him that’s cool, but he cut us off and said he was going for a blumpkin and told us to stay in the room so she wouldn’t know. Of course we laughed sooo hard it hurt, None of us had even known of someone attempting the blumpkin… I swear I had goosebumps.

When she came over, he convinced her that someone was passed out in his room so they went to the bathroom. Mind you the bathroom is right next to my room, so we had front row audio of the whole thing. She started to go down on him to the best of my knowledge but the fireworks started to happen when we heard her say, "Um, what smells like shit?"

My buddy calmly and somewhat proudly replied, “I pooped. Um, I was just all excited and, it popped out.” We were rolling and she continued with "OMG, did that really just happen? I think I’m going to leave. Wow!"

He was like, “so let me get this straight. I just pooped while you were giving me oral pleasure…" Unfortunately, their conversation sorta tailed off until she left. Once she was gone, we laughed all night long and we are GLADLY taking our buddy out for a great steak dinner to recognize his feat of bringing the blumpin dream to reality.