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The Ultimate Roommate Revenge
For starters, my roommate was on a drunken rampage this one night and totally pissed me off. He had a lot of friends at Catawba College, which is just 5 miles from [SCHOOL REMOVED] and went there to party with one of his friends and his friend's people.
Anyway, it was 4 o clock in the morning, I had just come back from partying and was extremely exhausted. Not to mention, I had been downing cranberry and vodka all night but I digress.
He comes storming into the room and begins making all kinds of crazy noises, among them obsecnities and screaming sporadically. I ask him in a not so polite way to shut up because I am sleeping and have to work in the morning. As luck would have it, he was a violent drunk and proceeded to drag me out of the bed, kick me in my balls and begin beating the hell outta me.
Remember, he was a football player and was a whole lot bigger and stronger than me (like 6 ft 5 and 310 lbs of muscle). When he had finished with me, I was half conscious and in the middle of the floor bleeding from my nose. My only saving grace was the concerned neighbors who pulled him off me and took him into their room.
The next morning, he came in laughing and joking with me like we were best friends and nothing happened. When I did not respond, he apologized half heartedly and profusely explained that he was drunk and on extascy pills, but he really did not mean to hurt me like that.
With my fingers crossed, I told him that there were no hard feelings and that we were still cool afterall, friends don't let a little disupte ruin their friendship (boy was I lying) and just like the idiot he was he bought it. And for a while, I played on that and always acted like everything was cool so people would think we were best friends.
BUT...the story does not end here, for as you have seen, I am passive agressive and will get my revenge one way or another.
A week later, a perfect opportunity presented itself for revenge. My roommate had a bottle of lemon gatorade for him to take to football practice with him. He took a sip or two before going to shower. He then stuck his gatorade in the fridge BIG MISTAKE! I poured out some of his lemon gatorade and peed into it. Then, I shook it up real good and to add a somewhat more pleasant touch, I took some toilet water with a medicine dropper and added that into his drink.
But, there is more a month after the incident, I saw another opportunit for revenge. He was verrrrrrry afraid of mice. My friend whom we called Ohio because he was from Dayton went with me to a football game at another college, which was by a Petsmart.
They sold feeder mice for about $5 a mouse. I purchased 4 of them. So, being the great roommate that I was, I waited until he was sleep that night, took his keys, and put the mice in his car and cracked his window slightly. Then, I slipped his keys back where they were. He was livid the next morning when he went to his car to leave for class and saw the mice running around in his back seat.
I know because I asked him for a ride to class that morning(oh did I mention that he had an exam in 15 minutes that day and was unable to get in his car due to his extreme phobia of mice).
To make matters better, his teacher would not permit him to make up the exam, which was 15% of his biology grade. To play it off, I called the maintenance crew at the dorm, who came to exterminate the mice and the profusely apologized telling him that there had been problems with rats and rodents which is why residents were urged not to keep food in their rooms or cars open.
But, the last revenge tactic tops all of them. I paid an acquaintance of mine whom I knew through a friend $35 (it was a lot at the time) to beat the snot out of my roommate.
This dude was massive and stronger than even my roommate. The way I set it up, I had him to approach my roommate like it was a case of mistaken identity while wearing a ski mask. He asked him if he was the one who slapped his sister after their argument. Of course my roommate said no, but before he could say anything else, he was hit in his mouth with brass knuckles by this guy and spit out one of his teeth.
The guy then proceeded to pound my roommate. I mean my roommate got a few hits in but he was no match for this giant. I played the terrified friend by yelling at him to stop and pretending to call the police (I really dialed my sister). When he saw me call the "police" he ran off.
I then took him to file a police report but there was nothing they could do since neither of us saw the assailant's face during the incident.
I doubt if to this day, my roommate knows that it was me who set him up all those times while we were in college. Well, if he is reading this, he must know that it doesn't pay to harm other people because it just might turn around on you (especially if the person harmed is set on revenge).
You got balls to get revenge like that. And to post this. (We're taking out the school name for your safety.)