From Kalamazoo to East Lansing and back:two tailgates; freshmen hotties and one upside down beer

The Friday before the game, I drove up to East Lansing for Michigan/Michigan State football game. I started drinking at 8:00pm with some buddies from high school at their house and then walked up to meet some of my friends at the bar. We drank all night and I was absolutely blasted when I went to bed about 5:00am.

I wake up at 8:00am to the MSU fight song. I get up and slam a Red Bull and vodka immediately. I’m ready to go. We drink about five or six beers waiting for a ride to the tailgate. We get to the tailgate and I lose my friends. I find some other people I know and we start pounding a few. About eight beers later, I decide that it’s time to go back to WMU, because we have a game at 7:00pm. So I stumble to the car, hop in and drive the one hour back to Kalamazoo. I made it just in time to catch the end of the MSU/Michigan game on tv. I meet my buddy, Marcus, and go golfing.

We split a case on the course. I got the cart stuck in a sand trap. One of the guys in our group is with his kid. He thinks I’m a total asshole. The rope to block off the green is wrapped around the tires of the cart, and I can’t stand up or golf, I am only able to drive the cart and look for golf balls. We make it out of there without getting arrested.

So I start driving home, keep in mind I have been driving a golf cart for two hours now. As I’m driving home, Marcus thinks it’s funny to push my leg down on the gas pedal. We are in a 45 mile zone, but the speedometer says were going 60. This guys is a fucking nut job. We climb to 90 miles an hour before I punch him hard enough to release my leg. Dangerous son of a bitch.

We go to Marcus' place outside the stadium and continue the tailgate. So here I am pulling a double tailgate, two schools, one man. We go to the bar. I order myself a pitcher. My boy Sal throws a ketchup bottle at our friend across the bar. It hits his girlfriend in the face, so she throws a napkin filled with ketchup at him. So he stands up and sprays everyone at the table with ketchup.

We decide it’s time to leave. We go to the party store and pick up a case. Inside the party store, Marcus throws me the case and I catch it in front of the counter, try a behind-the-back move and lose control. Sure as hell all 24 beers go sliding everywhere around the store. The counter girls wants to hang out with some crazy bastards like us, I can see it in her face.

Anyway, we go to our buddy’s and play a game of beer pong. After a powerful game of about six beers, we head over to a party around the corner. Decide to pick up some freshmen slutties/hotties and take them to the party (I’m 22, btw). Next we head back to my house, take some beers from my roommate’s dirty 30 and start making out with the freshmen. We walk them back to their dorm, which is farther away than I thought. Then we make out with them in the dorm for a while before they kick us out. I was in no condition to perform sexual maneuvers at this point, although I would have without a thought, given it my best effort...

I return home at 5:30am, open a beer and set it down upside down. I decided it is time for me to end my 36-hour drunken bender. The world surrounding me had become unclear and my roommate suggested I go to bed because nobody should still be going strong without blowing intolerable amounts of cocaine by this time. I agreed and clocked out at 6:15 am.

It was a hell of a ride son, hell of a ride.