Todd just starts crying even harder because now he's covered in someone else's puke.

After waking up in the morning still drunk from a party the night before, I rolled over to find my friend Todd lying in a pool of vomit.

Todd was still drunk as well, as were all of us really, and he started crying because he felt so bad that he'd throw up on someone else's floor. He proceeded to use toilet paper to try and mop up the vomit which didn't work, as it was mostly dried, so he just ended up with little balls of tp all over the place and vomit all over his hands.

He started crying even harder, desperately trying to clean it up, and the whole time me and few other people are just laughing our assess off. Finally this girl comes in, sees Todd bawling his eyes out while trying to clean up, and says: "Oh, you didn't have to clean that up for me. I was going to do it."

What? Wait a minute.

"Why were you going to clean it up?"

Her response: "Well, because it's mine."

This sends all of us into an even bigger fit of laughter and Todd just starts crying even harder because now he's covered in someone else's puke.

After we all manage to calm down, and after Todd washes his hands for about 20 minutes, a group of us, Todd included, decided to go out to eat at Applebee's. It took us about 2 hours to get there, instead of the usual half hour, due to the fact that no one was really sober enough to be driving and the only person who could actually give directions was passed out in the back seat.

When we finally made it there and got a table, we pissed our waitress off to no end, slurring our orders and changing them up every 5 mintues, dropping food on the floor, spilling drinks, being generally loud and annoying, etc. Well, my friend Todd is still crying off and on, for whatever reason, and alternately falling asleep in his food, when he suddenly stands up and yells, really loudly, in front of the entire restaurant that he needs to take a shit.

And off he goes. About half an hour later, we finally notice that Todd's not back yet, and one of the guys gets up to go check the bathroom when we see this little kid walk up to one of the waitresses crying and say "There's a dead man in the bathroom." So we all get up and run in there to find Todd passed out in one of the stalls. The toilet, wall, and floor are covered in puke and Todd's just lying there asleep on the floor.

We manage to wake him up, and drag his ass out of there, leaving the mess behind. Rather than doing the decent thing and leaving the restaurant, we all sit back down and spend another hour or so being the most annoying customers ever.

To our credit, we were too drunk to figure out how much we owed so we just threw every single bit of cash we had on the table before leaving, which we later figured out was almost $200 for a $50 meal.