"Whatever happens, I won't cry rape, you can even..."

It was the first week of freshman year when I discovered what a fraternity was. The college rules stated that freshmen were not allowed to visit the frat houses until the second month of school, and being college freshmen, we ignored their requests.

The first night I went down to one of the houses, I had just gotten out of a "Red Zone" meeting with my RA. Basically this is one of those meetings where they tell you what rape is and isn’t, and that there is to be no hooking up while you are drinking because people can't consent to anything once alcohol touches their lips. In addition, if a girl hooks up or has sex with a guy while drunk they are within their rights to cry rape and send the guy off to jail for the rest of his life.

With all this in mind, I arrived at the house ready for a night of drinking. I was promptly herded into a brother's room with about 6 or 7 other guys. A fridge in the corner had about four cases of the best quality fraternity brew: Natty Ice! Needless to say, we sat down and got to business.

Twenty minutes later, some girls were herded into the room, and also heard the sweet call of the Natty. Another twenty minutes went by and everyone in the room was pretty sloshed.

One of these girls, Joy, and I got into a conversation that translates into "Hey, let’s start hooking up, right here, right now." Well, that was enough for me, and before I knew it, I had a topless Joy on my lap, hooking up with me in a crowded room!

Our little spectacle caused quite a reaction, let me tell you. After several minutes, we were the center of attention in the room, with cheering and laughter and some pretty grossed out girls.

Eventually, the brother who lived in the room came back and kicked everyone out but me and Joy. He then whispered in my ear “If you don’t make this worth my while.”

Hearing this, Joy whispered in my ear in her most sexy-drunk voice, "I know I’m really drunk right now, but whatever happens, I PROMISE I won’t tell anyone that you raped me tonight, you can even put it in my ass!"

In an act of self-preservation, or should I say, penile preservation, I left the room as fast as I could, leaving a confused drunken topless Joy in the room. She didn't seem to mind too much, though, because the brother who lived there just got it on with her in my stead.

I’m as horny as the next guy, but dude WTF!