Biting peoples' faces is more difficult than you might expect

After seeing The Vagina Monologues, I was feeling like a moderate feminist and wanting a quiet night of women's lib without drinking.

Unfortunately, this night did not occur.

I ventured to the residence of some friends and had a few drinks, which led to some singing including the full Bohemian Rhapsody featuring me on falsetto. I bit a close friend of mine on the cheek (biting peoples' faces is more difficult than you might expect,) pulled up my shirt and said "boop" on many occasions.

After I was feeling very drunk, I got rather bipolar about my feminist perspective and yelled, "My vagina needs sex!" but then countered that with "No sex here!" Very Catholic guilt of me indeed.

At some point in the evening, we ended up outside and I puffed on a bona fide Cuban cigar, drank outdoors (very illegal) and sang "I Get High With A Little Help From My Friends." Ironically, I was not with my friends at this point and was accompanied by perfect strangers.

By the end of the evening, I had grabbed many an ass and kissed many an innocent bystander.

When I stumbled back to my residence, I heard friends talking next door and didn't think that knocking was necessary, so I burst in on sober people and regaled them with incoherent tales for no less than two and a half hours. I swore a great deal and thought that I was being completely logical, when of course, I was not.

Because of the empowering beginning to the evening, I ended the night with a brilliant woman's rights quote: "Whoever the fuck you want to be is whoever the fuck you are!"

Not quite logical in hindsight but a good message nonetheless.