It was obvious to anyone semi-sober that the two lovebirds wanted to be alone. Lyn was not sober.

During my freshman year at the University of Texas, I lived off campus with two other roommates, a guy, Lyn, and a girl, Sandra. Sandra's best friend was a girl named Ingrid. Ingrid was Norwegian and fit every Norwegian stereotype. She was blonde and had an absolutely gorgeous body.

Lyn and I lusted after Ingrid like no one's business. She was completely out of our leagues and had an amazingly sweet way of letting us know that she really liked us, but would never consider dating either of us.

One night we have a party at our apartment. Ingrid arrived at the party late after Lyn and I were both quite drunk. She had some mindless prettyboy in tow, and it was quite obvious to everyone that they were very into each other. When we ran out of beer, Ingrid and Prettyboy volunteered to go out to replenish our supply. Sober persons might recognize this as an attempt to be alone together, unfortunately there weren't any persons like that at the party, least of all, Lyn.

He insists on going with them. They patiently agree to let him. He walks up to Prettyboy's car and immediately plops down in the passenger seat. Ingrid and pretty boy shrug and Ingrid gets in the back seat, right behind Lyn- big mistake.

Experienced drinkers who become as drunk as Lyn was, usually go to bed with a trash can nearby. Lyn is not an experienced drinker. He was in the front seat of a car doing 55 mph, when he decides he needs some fresh air. So he rolls the window down. He then decides it feels really good to hang his head out of the window. He then decides to puke- into the wind.

The vomit goes from his stomach, out of his mouth, into the wind and directly back in the window to the back seat, where Ingrid sat. Ingrid gets his vomit in her hair, clothes and face. She and Prettyboy proceed to freak out and scream at the hapless Lyn, who is too drunk to understand what he's just done.

They pull into a gas station. Ingrid goes to the bathroom to clean up, Prettyboy insists that Lyn do the same. Lyn, entirely unsure of what's expected of him, walks into the store. It's only him and the suspicious 16 year-old attendant. Lyn waves at the kid, walks to the end of one of the aisles and hurls onto the floor. He then straightens up and calmly walks to the door. As he exits, he gives the kid two "finger guns" and a wink and walks out.

He goes to get back in Prettyboy's car, but of course, he goes up to the wrong car. The passenger door on this car is locked. He thinks they're playing a joke on him, so he proceeds to angrily beat and pound on the car door of a terrified woman who is frantically fumbling for her keys to start her car and escape from this vomit-covered lunatic who is, no doubt, hell-bent on killing her and using her car for his next three-state killing spree.

When Prettyboy got him back to the apartment and explained what had happened, he said that the hardest decision of his life was calling Lyn's name and pointing out that he had the wrong car and not leaving him there for the police S.W.A.T. team that was surely on the way.