Boat Trip
Cuba Gooding Jr. has had such bad luck in picking movie roles in the past few years, it's sad. Who could believe that the same actor who gave such a strong breakout role in Boyz in the Hood and redelivered in Jerry Maguire could star in Chill Factor, Snow Dogs and Rat Race? It has gotten to the point that if Cuba is in a movie, I automatically assume that it will be a dud. His newest release, Boat Trip, is no exception, but I rented it anyways in hopes of seeing a naked female or two. By the way, I did.
Jerry (Gooding) is in love with Felicia (Vivica A. Fox -- ID4) for reasons nobody understands. He takes her on a hot-air balloon ride to propose marriage. He's got the ring, and he has his lunch. No, wait, he loses that all over her but continues with the proposal. Denied! She dumps his Oscar-winning ass for a mechanic. Jerry mopes around like a whiny bitch for six months.
Hating to see Jerry being disconsolate for so long, his best friend Nick ("SNL" funnyman Horatio Sanz) is trying everything he can to get Jerry's mind off Felicia. After seeing another friend with a hottie that he met on a cruise, Nick decides that's the best way to help Jerry move on with his life (and score himself as well). Nick's idea goes as planned until he unknowingly offends the travel agent. When Jerry and Nick hop on board, they realize that the other passengers are all guys, and they're all gay.
Boat Trip has all of the elements of a trite romantic comedy. The premise is unlikely to happen in real life, and the ending is predictable as early on as the trailer. The initial attraction between Jerry and Rosalyn Sanchez's character is that she thinks he's gay; ergo, Jerry's not like the creeps she's been dating. Also, RS wants a gay guy friend to give her the occasional screaming orgasm. We know for a fact that Jerry shops at the pink-doughnut store, but how many guys would pass up free nookie, even if they have to pretend they're gay? Probably the guys who aren't pretending? Getting back to the point, Boat Trip is to originality as airport security is to efficiency.
Despite its flaws, Boat Trip has a few laugh-out-loud scenes. When Nick and Jerry are looking for a parking spot at the travel agency, one of the employees cut them off. Nick and the guy proceed to curse at each other. Here is a snippet of their witty exchange:
Travel agent: Fuck your mother!
Nick: Nobody would want to fuck my mother, 'cause she's too ugly!"
Boat Trip also features interesting cameos by famous actors. Richard Roundtree (the original Shaft) makes a brief appearance as Felicia's father. Will Ferrell (Old School) is noteworthy as the travel agent who maliciously books Jerry and Nick on the gay cruise. Lastly, you get to see a former James Bond, Roger Moore, take a shameless role as a gay passenger on the ship; apparently, Cuba Gooding Jr. isn't the only sellout in this movie.
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Jerry gets drunk, falls in a pool, and is saved from drowning by a beautiful woman. That would be a good plan in theory, but it's too risky for me.
After watching a movie with homosexual themes and characters, many guys will want to prove their masculinity. Ladies, beware!
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