Jackass
How many of you watch reality TV on a regular basis? Trick question! I wanted to see who would have the guts to admit something like that (suckers!). Seriously, I do not understand the popularity of shows where people from different backgrounds are mixed together in a setting. All these people do is argue over petty crap and diss each other in private. Don't you get enough of that in your college dorm/house/apartment? To compensate for my apathy for reality TV, I recently watched the appropriately titled new release Jackass, which is a reality film.
Jackass presents a series of highly dangerous stunts that anybody with a desire to see tomorrow would not do. There is no plot, no story, and no coordination among stunts. Unless you are a regular watcher of the TV version on MTV, you won't know any of the cast members except Johnny Knoxville (Men in Black II).
Each individual stunt created one of three reactions from me: hysterical laughter, sympathy pains, or no emotion at all. I was cycling through these emotions throughout the movie, crying from laughter one minute and shielding my eyes the next. Of course, some stunts elicited both reactions. Overall, the painful stunts made me wish I had not seen this movie.
Here are examples of the excruciating (from the perspective of viewers and participants) stunts:
* Some of the guys use a gadget that can send shocks to areas of the body. You can probably guess which areas they end up shocking.
* One guy walks on a tightrope hovering above an alligator pit. He predictably falls off the rope.
* Another stunt guy has a baby alligator bite his nipples. Ooooooooooooooow!!
* Johnny Knoxville puts on a bulletproof vest, and an experienced marksman shoots him in the gut with a shotgun from a short distance. The bruise on his stomach two days later is unforgettable.
Here are some examples that cracked me up laughing:
* Knoxville tries on rocket-propelled roller skates. This would have been an impressive idea if he could have kept his balance.
* One of the cast members puts an adult alligator in his parents' house. His mom's reaction busts guts because it's genuine.
* Some of the guys drop trough, light firecrackers, and shoot them from their corn holes. That one is both painful and funny to watch.
* Finally, there is nothing as funny as watching a midget kick his own forehead.
One of the more attractive aspects of Jackass is that everything you see is real, whether the stunts are successfully executed or the performers muck up. This is a nice break from other movies, in which most stunts are special effects.
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The raunchy crap that these guys pull may cause you to spit out your beer in disgust or laughter. Otherwise, bottoms up, mates!
Guys, think of the number 4. That's how many weeks (minimum) that you would be cut off if you watch this movie with your lady.
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