The Absolute Worst Movies of 2002
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Written by: Doug Kelker
2002 is part of a continuing trend, and that trend is the general decline in film excellence. Even the Academy Award nominees for Best Picture from the past three years are mediocre in comparison to the 1994 and 1999 (for example) nominees. If the best films of the year are forgettable, does that mean that the worst films are reaching rock bottom? I don't know the answer to that question, but it seems that the amount of crap that Hollywood tries to feed us increases more each year. Here is a short list of 2002 films, listed alphabetically, that sucked the most ass (Click here for a list of 2002's best). |
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| 1. |
The Adventures Of Pluto Nash
Rumor has it that the release date of Pluto Nash was pushed back two years before it was finally released. That's always a bad sign. What do I mean by "released" anyways? I never saw any show times or advertisements for this one. Perhaps the producers wanted to cut their losses and not waste any more money than they did to make this piece of shit ($100 million budget). Pluto Nash has been nominated for five Razzie Awards (including Worst Picture), and Andrew Jackson says that it wins at least two of them.
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| 2. |
Ballistic: Ecks v. Sever
Just when I was starting to appreciate Antonio Banderas from his work in Philidelphia and The Mask of Zorro, his stock goes down with this junk. The story is weak and confusing, and the characters are as transparent as a windshield. Ballistic almost redeems itself with fair action scenes. Almost.
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| 3. |
Crossroads
"Look at me; I'm Britney Spears! Not only do I make suggestive music that may corrupt teenage girls across the county, I have to open my own restaurant, endorse Pepsi, flaunt my body at awards ceremonies, and star in a feature film just to get your attention." That's a direct quote. Spears proves that she has no more talent as an actress than she does as a musician. Only disillusioned teenage girls and horny males will enjoy this F.I.L.M. (Freakingly Idiotic Lackluster Movie).
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| 4. |
Master Of Disguise
Attention, Dana Carvey! Most of your movies suck! You were funny on "Saturday Night Live" and the Wayne's World movies, but that's it. For all that is good and holy, please stop doing movies! Thank you, sir! Master is a "comedy" about a waiter who discovers a family talent of self-disguise. This one's so bad it's on the IMDb Bottom 100 List. Master is not a nominee for Worst Picture, but it should be.
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| 5. |
Swept Away
The premise is as follows: a snobby socialite and a Communist sailor are stranded on an island. At first they hate each other, and then they get to know each other blah blah blah. If the plotline of two opposites being thrown together and falling in love sounds familiar, that's because it's been used in nearly every romantic comedy ever made. One can understand why a Madonna movie would be so poor, but the once-promising Guy Ritchie (Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels) helmed this one. Swept Away was nominated for a whopping seven Razzies, Worst Picture being an obvious one.
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| 6. |
XXX
If you look for sensible plots, character development, original stories, clever dialogue, or even decent line delivery, don't bother watching XXX. This movie is simply a macho, steroid-induced, cash cow for Vin Deisel's expiring 15 minutes of fame. Oh, freakin' fabulous! They're making a sequel, which will be due out sometime next year. It will probably be called Crap II: Even Smellier Than Before.
Other 2002 movies I wouldn't watch for free: Scooby Doo, Rollerball, and The Country Bears. Did we overlook one of your least-favorite 2002 films? Drop us a line and tell us which of our picks you agreed with, and which movies you think we missed. You can purchase any of these movies by clicking on the corresponding film image above. |
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