Hummer Becomes a Hurler

Hummer Becomes a Hurler

This story that I am about to share with you has scared me for life. I have an obligation to all men out there to give a warning before I begin. This story started like most with a little pre-party drinking at our house. We had an "exchange" at 10 p.m. with a sorority that just happens to be fine as hell. A good friend of mine, Matt, and I started with the normal cheap vodka shots and then moved on to some beers. As most people know, this is not a good combination. At this same time, the rest of our fellow pledges were home with the women. As we started to make our way down the stairs, it was clear that Matt and I were well on our way to having a very good night.

The exchange was off to a good start, and I had about 7 more shots under my belt when I met this girl, Kelli, who happened to have the biggest chest in the room. After about 12 shots and a few beers in a little over an hour, the face of this particular girl could have looked like a meat grinder for all I could tell and it would not have made a difference.

Well as luck would have it, she not only had a great body but her face was nothing to put a paper bag over. We started dancing and getting a few more drinks together before I started to pass out. I knew that if I did not get this girl to my room soon, I would be out for the count. And this was just too good to pass up.

As we made our way up the stairs, even in my drunken state, it became obvious to me that she was as bad off as I was. When I opened the door to my room, there was my good friend Matt laid out on our futon with a cute little blond trying to suck every little bit of his man hood out of him. Kelli was totally shocked (I found out the next day that the cute little blonde just happened to be Kelli's little sister). She tried to say a few words, but I don't think their own mother could have understood a word that came out of her mouth. As we walked past the two of them, I don't think her little sis even came up for air. It took all of my concentration and energy just to make it onto my bed. As my head hit the pillow, I was out cold. Kelli had a bit more energy and started to unzip my pants. I was not one to keep a girl from this action so I laid back and started to enjoy some great head. All I could think about was how lucky I was to be a drunken fool and still get some ass tonight. I could tell that this was not the first time Kelli had gone down on a guy as she was taking all most all me in her mouth. After about 3 or 4 more motions it happened. I know what you're all thinking...

But that is far from what happened. A combination of vodka, beer, and the fact that you can only put something so far down your throat ended in the worst blowjob of my life. That's right, she lost it right in my lap. I'm not talking a little spittle here. Her whole night of fun came up in a flash. There I was: laying in my bed with a half-naked girl THROWING UP on my lap. I could not believe this was happening!

In a matter of seconds, I went from a great night to remember, to a night that has forever traumatized me. (I'm sure to think about this event before every blow job I ever get for the rest of my life).

All I can say is it took all of my common decency and chivalrous instincts not to kick this girl out of my bed telling her in no uncertain terms never to return.

-- University Of Washington

[Editor's Note: Of course, this can happen the other way around too.]