I'm pretty sure he had sex with me

One night in March my sorority had a date party. I took a guy I had just met. However, many of my sisters knew (and liked) him, which is how we ended up going together. He seemed really, really nice and I was excited because I thought we were going to have a lot of fun.

We were drinking at my apartment before the party and I had had more than a couple drinks. I don't know exactly how strong they were because my date made all of my drinks. The drinks consisted mostly of vodka and triple sec. Of course I was buzzing, but way more than I should have for the amount I drank. I guess he must have made them extra strong, or might he have slipped something else into my drink, too…

As the night went on, I got more and more drunk and don't remember half of what happened. I remember my date saying, “are you ready to go?” To which I think I said “yes.” But what I was really ready for, was to go to bed!

I obviously had no control of myself and was following him because he seemed a lot less drunk than me (if alcohol was even the cause of my problems). The next thing I knew, we were in his room and he was all over me. I was so out of it, I guess I just went with it.

I remember him saying, “I have a rubber” and then he pushed me on the bed. I was in no shape to even muster a response, so I said nothing and don't remember anything until one of my sisters knocked on the door and I woke up sometime later. I was in his bed naked.

I am pretty sure he had sex with me, but I'm not sure. I don't think I ever said "no" to his advances (or yes, for that matter). All I know, is that if I hadn't been so out of it, it definitely would not have happened.

I don't know if this counts as some type of rape, but I feel ashamed of myself. It wasn't that long ago when this all happened and I am still trying to deal with it.

Girls, please remember that alcohol can make you do things you regret and things that could change your life! Be Careful!