Numerous flushes failed to dislodge or even budge this impressive intestinal discharge

Midway through my fall freshman year,a massive meatloaf shaped turd mysteriously appeared in the 4th floor bathroom in Hillside Dorm! Numerous flushes failed to dislodge or even budge this impressive intestinal discharge.

After awed comments and heated debate on the length, girth and possible weight of the giant gastronomic obstruction, the inevitable questions began to fly..."Who could have possibly left such an enourmous unflushable monster and was their anus still bleeding?"

A process of "elimination" began, where we quickly narrowed down the list of possible poop ploppers. The caca culprits where questioned, but no one would claim ownership of the "beast in the bowl".

Word got around the dorm about the freaklishly large feces and soon a steady stream of turd tourists treked up the four flights to view what had become known as "The Hillside Meatloaf."

The tourist-attracting turd stayed with us for almost a week when interest in the enourmous elimination began to wane. As time progressed, what little water that was left in the bowl evaporated and the smell of the Meatloaf was soon overbearing.

Although a few of the Biology majors had thoughts of studying the specimin or perhaps of preserving the Monster for future generations; we knew what had to be done. Our main concern though, was that it was done in a tasteful and dignified manner.

A quick visit to the basement brought our brave, and slightly retarded janitor Frank to the bathroom. Upon seeing the terrificly large turd, Frank said the following comforting words: "That's the biggest turd I've ever seen!" Impressive words for an impressive poop!

Like a proud parent showing off a newborn baby, Frank doned rubber gloves and gently lifted the now famous feces out of the bowl. He carried it downstairs in his "Frank" bucket never to be seen again!

We were proud and remain proud to this day that the plumping never did claim The Hillside Meatloaf!