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Home > Stories > Read Story
The Tow Truck Pizza Prank
Posted:10/23/2006
Views: 8,122
Grade: B
Comments 3
So, my friends and I were all hanging out one Friday night getting piss drunk as usual. We decided to start making a few prank phone calls. After a few calls to random campus numbers, we decided to cause trouble in town. I pulled out the Yellow Pages and looked up towing companies. Our decent-sized college town had about a dozen towing companies listed. For the sake of naming, I'll keep it simple and alphabetical with fake names.
I dialed the first:
AT: "Asscrack Towing, this is Jack."
ME: "Hi Jack, this is Bill from Buttcrack Towing. This sounds completely retarded, but my truck just broke down and I've got the differential out of my other truck. Would you mind coming out and taking me back to my shop?"
AT: "Yeah, no problem Bill. Where are you at?"
ME: "I'm over by New York CityPizza. But hey, don't rush or anything. I'm going to run in and grab a slice. What do you say I meet you here at midnight?"
AT: "Sounds good, buddy. I'll see you there."
I dialed the second:
BT: "Buttcrack Towing, this is Ted."
ME: "Hi Ted, this is Don from Crackwhore Towing." And then I gave the same story about meeting at midnight so I could grab a slice of pizza.
This went on for about 11 or 12 towing companies. Two of them weren't 24 hour service places so we couldn't bring them in on our little prank... yet.
So, as midnight approached, we all headed over to New York CityPizza. When we got there, it couldn't have possibly been any better. One of the guys must have showed up early and either he was looking for me in the pizza joint (even though there was no other tow truck outside), or he decided to have some pizza himself. Then, as midnight struck, they all quickly arrived. One by one, they seemed to get into strange arguments.
Now, this is the best part about hillbillies. It takes them awhile to figure out it was a prank despite the fact that your average 3rd grader could have figured this out. So, we decided to move a little closer.
As we got within earshot, I heard one guy actually say, "You pulled me out of bed to come down here and you got your truck runnin! I still want my $50 for coming out there!" That guy responded with, "I don't know who the fuck you are! I'm here to tow this guy over here and he tells me he's here to tow you!"
I shit you not, after about 15 minutes of them trying to figure out who was towing who without anyone needing a tow and no one willing to pay anyone else, one guy actually said, "Hey, hey, you guys. Listen up... You all think someone was playing a joke on us?"
What a fuckin' revelation!
In the end, we had a good laugh at the expense of a few confused hillbillies and they all went into New York CityPizza together laughing as well. When we got back to the dorm, I thought one more prank call was in order. I flipped open the Yellow Pages and found the towing companies that didn't answer their phones when we called the first time. Then, I called New York CityPizza. I asked if the redneck tow truck drivers were still there and the lady said they were. I told her to send them over three pitchers of beer with the following message, "Tell them that Al from Jackwad Towing hopes they had fun tonight. And tell them that since they were such great sports about it that they can have one guy pay for it and if he stops in tomorrow around 5, I'll cut him a check for whatever they ordered."
We headed over to Jackwad Towing the next day at 5. One of the guys from the previous night showed up and went in. Looking through the glass, we could see him ranting and raving at the guy behind the counter. My buddy decided to go in to get a pack of cigarettes (it was also a small gas station). When my buddy came out, he was about to piss himself laughing. Apparently, those hicks wanted to stick it to Jackwad Towing. He said he saw the receipt on the counter and they racked up $283 in pizza and booze.
We stayed for awhile and our victim finally emerged all red-faced and severely pissed off. He ended up screaming, "I'll get you, you mother fucker!" as he got into his truck and drove away.
We felt bad that poor Jackwad Towing was now going to be targeted for revenge, but it was quite entertaining.
It's just so easy to mess with local Quincy, Illinois hillbillies!
I dialed the first:
AT: "Asscrack Towing, this is Jack."
ME: "Hi Jack, this is Bill from Buttcrack Towing. This sounds completely retarded, but my truck just broke down and I've got the differential out of my other truck. Would you mind coming out and taking me back to my shop?"
AT: "Yeah, no problem Bill. Where are you at?"
ME: "I'm over by New York CityPizza. But hey, don't rush or anything. I'm going to run in and grab a slice. What do you say I meet you here at midnight?"
AT: "Sounds good, buddy. I'll see you there."
I dialed the second:
BT: "Buttcrack Towing, this is Ted."
ME: "Hi Ted, this is Don from Crackwhore Towing." And then I gave the same story about meeting at midnight so I could grab a slice of pizza.
This went on for about 11 or 12 towing companies. Two of them weren't 24 hour service places so we couldn't bring them in on our little prank... yet.
So, as midnight approached, we all headed over to New York CityPizza. When we got there, it couldn't have possibly been any better. One of the guys must have showed up early and either he was looking for me in the pizza joint (even though there was no other tow truck outside), or he decided to have some pizza himself. Then, as midnight struck, they all quickly arrived. One by one, they seemed to get into strange arguments.
Now, this is the best part about hillbillies. It takes them awhile to figure out it was a prank despite the fact that your average 3rd grader could have figured this out. So, we decided to move a little closer.
As we got within earshot, I heard one guy actually say, "You pulled me out of bed to come down here and you got your truck runnin! I still want my $50 for coming out there!" That guy responded with, "I don't know who the fuck you are! I'm here to tow this guy over here and he tells me he's here to tow you!"
I shit you not, after about 15 minutes of them trying to figure out who was towing who without anyone needing a tow and no one willing to pay anyone else, one guy actually said, "Hey, hey, you guys. Listen up... You all think someone was playing a joke on us?"
What a fuckin' revelation!
In the end, we had a good laugh at the expense of a few confused hillbillies and they all went into New York CityPizza together laughing as well. When we got back to the dorm, I thought one more prank call was in order. I flipped open the Yellow Pages and found the towing companies that didn't answer their phones when we called the first time. Then, I called New York CityPizza. I asked if the redneck tow truck drivers were still there and the lady said they were. I told her to send them over three pitchers of beer with the following message, "Tell them that Al from Jackwad Towing hopes they had fun tonight. And tell them that since they were such great sports about it that they can have one guy pay for it and if he stops in tomorrow around 5, I'll cut him a check for whatever they ordered."
We headed over to Jackwad Towing the next day at 5. One of the guys from the previous night showed up and went in. Looking through the glass, we could see him ranting and raving at the guy behind the counter. My buddy decided to go in to get a pack of cigarettes (it was also a small gas station). When my buddy came out, he was about to piss himself laughing. Apparently, those hicks wanted to stick it to Jackwad Towing. He said he saw the receipt on the counter and they racked up $283 in pizza and booze.
We stayed for awhile and our victim finally emerged all red-faced and severely pissed off. He ended up screaming, "I'll get you, you mother fucker!" as he got into his truck and drove away.
We felt bad that poor Jackwad Towing was now going to be targeted for revenge, but it was quite entertaining.
It's just so easy to mess with local Quincy, Illinois hillbillies!
- Quincy University
Editors Note:
Sometimes the real fun doesn't begin until the tow truck arrives!
Comments
You meanie. Waste of money and time...not actually very funny, but quite original.
So, I think this is hilarious. I go to Culver, so I know Quincy very well. And to the last comment...if you knew the town very well, you would realize that it's little, and shit like that doesn't really matter. Mad props for pulling that off!!
Ok. You had your laugh. Now for the reality of it. You may have cost most to all of those companies some valuable time that they could have been out impounding or running other calls. Maybe it's funny to you to anger a few folks just so you college pukes can have a ball, but just think of it this way. If you were stranded on a highway with a broken down car and had to wait for the tow truck, you'd be rightfully upset. So now because they are all at this one food joint looking to help each other out (because tow drivers stick together) they just lost out on a night's worth of wages. I really hope someday you get pranked and it costs you a pretty penny!